Born to Be a Mom

I have been married for 6 years to a wonderful guy, who I have known and been friends with since the age of 15.  We even have the same birthday.  All my life I have spent taking care of other people's children.  I am currently the Director of a preschool and have been a teacher, nanny, babysitter, etc. since I was 11 years old.  My husband and I have basically grown up together so he knows all this about me and knew I would want to have children.  Although we got married young (22 yrs old) we knew each other well and talked about these things.  We went through a rough patch about three years ago but made things work.  Now, at the age of 29 I am really wanting to start trying to have a baby, or at least start trying within the year.  However, my husband is finishing his masters and then wants to continue on to get his phd.  I support him in these desires and dreams but for the life of me can't understand why my dreams can't happen at the same time.  Being the Director of a preschool I can bring my child to work with me for free, everyday!! People would kill to have that privilege.  Plus both of our families live in the area and my mom only works part-time and would love to take care of her grandchild a couple days a week.  Everyone knows how much children mean to me and I am tired of acting like I am not ready to have a child.  We are doing well financially, although if he goes to school for his phd I'm not sure how that will effect income.  We could easily afford a small house/condo in the area.  I just can't get him to take a step in that direction.  He's talking five more years- I cannot wait five more years to have a baby.  I am also a certified labor/birth doula and spent years learning and studying child birth, his sister is a midwife as well and my plan is to have a home birth.  It kills me to see so many people everyday with big pregnant bellies or beautiful children.  I want this so bad and I don't know what to do.  

carre46 carre46
6 Responses Apr 28, 2009

Forget to take your pill,
do not wait any longer, just do it!!!!!
he will love that baby so much!!!!!

What do you want more, your man, or a baby? You have the power. Then he would have to decide.

Woah!! that is a long time that you have been together and known each other! I feel for you seriously..... I don't think it matters if you have marriage or careers and all the right stuff because even if you have all that it doesn't make it the right or wrong time to have a baby. People in all sorts of situations are having kids all over the world and they don't even worry nor have careers, marriage, houses ect..... and still manage to raise their kids by a miracle and their hearts grow because they learn the love of a mother and her child. I want one so bad and my heart is breaking but I know I am not alone and i choose to just let the desire grow with love and not anger.. I am blessed enough to have met my best friend/boyfriend and to be with him 11years in November since the age of 15 too. Even tho I want my baby soo bad. I sometimes cry thinking about my baby but then I think of how my heart once cried for this love that I now have (my boyfriend) and so one day my heart will cry enough so my baby can hear its call and he or she will come to me too. I am already soo blessed and to have a baby would be I will cry for my baby but I will not let my hearts desire ruin what I now have.... Follow your heart and please be happy now so you can create the world that invites your future child and even if somehow for some reason you don't end up getting what you want then at least you will have spent your life living it the best and most happiest and to the fullest as possible.

i dont think u need a man to have a baby. and i think u realize this. if u WANT him there... forget to take ur pill muah hahahahaha. <br />
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seriously tho. i think u should talk to him. and if its something u really want, who needs a man????? hello invitro. hello adoption. hello other options that i am currently unaware of. <br />
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i want kids. and i'll be damned if my potential future husband stands in the way of that.<br />
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but then again, i may end up being a foster mother of 30 will more cats than i can count living in the ghetto eating stuff from cans... LOL, so i say good luck!!!

tough situation. sounds like you like the guy

Sounds like you have your stuff together . It's time to get him on board . Though my thinking would be , he would like to spend time for just you two when things are all said and done. Good reminder would be that children only stay a few years before their gone on their own .bl<x>ink too long and you will miss the opportunity .