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To Want A Baby Ones Youve Llost One

ok so my husband has a small son from a previous relationship. we dated for one year, got engaged. Then married 8 months later. We will have been together for 2 years this december of 09. The problem is as follows, eventhough some may say 2 years is not enough time to have a baby i have always been ready to start a family. I was never a ''cluby party' girl. And now that i have found the right person even more so. The sad part of this story is i DESPERATELY craved a little baby of my own and may of this year i had gotten pregnant by accident. After 3 months i found out my baby had cystic hygroma and terminated the pregnancy.  (there were 2 tumors in with the baby and it was basically 100% chance the baby would come with health problems and not live). It was the most awful thing i had to do and i was only 3 weeks away from my wedding. STRESS! In the first drawer of my night table i keep my baby books, the pregnancy test i had taken and a few other ,,,i thought would be treasured memories.  he says we should have time to be married because he has never been this happy with a significant other. I dont know how reliable his promses are as he had promised we would try after marriage since i had lost the baby and because i wanted one so bad. to make matters worse can you believe 4 of our closest couple friends are pregnant. I am happy for them but it is a constant reminder everytime i see them. Everytime i go anywhere and see a baby i smile....and take a few deep breaths.  every time.

BabyBlues4750 BabyBlues4750 22-25, F 3 Responses Oct 16, 2009

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I know exactly what you're going through. My husband and I have been together 7 years (2 married). I've always wanted to be a mother and I told him that I wanted to start having kids relatively soon. I mean, I am 26 and he's 29! He makes all kinds of excuses as to why we can't, but they're all very selfish reasons. He says he wants kids. But whenever I bring it up he rolls his eyes at me. I shouldn't feel bad for wanting kids, but that's how he makes me feel. Plus, the heartache I go through seeing other mothers (younger than me) have children almost brings me to tears. And it kills me to see people who have only been together a short time and just announced that they're gonna have a baby. I AM happy for them, of course. It's just hard when you want something soo deeply in your heart and others get to experience it, but not you. All because my husband doesn't want to lose his spare time. I am so sorry that you're going through this, truly I am. The heartache of losing a child and then seeing everyone around you having kids is brutal. I hope you get your child one day. You deserve it.

I feel the same way seeing another woman happy with a baby is the most depressing thing in the world, my boyfriend seems to only want one if it's not planned I feel sick with depression over it

Hi, Im so sorry x x What you are feeling now is deep greif, councelling may help although your baby was never born you loved him/her. Dont be ashamed to be upset you have lost a child, having another baby so soon probably isnt the answer to all this hurt you are feeling you need to deal with this first. There is time for a baby and your husband doesnt sound like he doesnt want a baby just not yet.