Pregnancy Envy

My husband and I have been trying to get pregnant, and it's just not happening. I thought for sure that it would be easy, but no such luck. Everyday it seemed like everyone around me was getting pregnant, just not me. While already being concerned about not getting pregnant, I was beginning to worry that my sister-in-law would get pregnant before me. We knew that she wanted a second child, but she kept saying that it was not the right time. Well...she's pregnant. My heart sank when I heard this. I couldn't even sleep that night. I felt trapped in my own skin. I just wanted to run. Run away. I didn't, and I don't want to face that, her. It's so selfish of me, but I can't help it. The harder I try to sort out why I feel the way I do, the more confused and tangled my feelings get. I think what bothers me so much is essentially the reverse of that old saying "why do bad things happen to good people?" in this case it's, "why do good things happen to bad people". My sister-in-law and her husband are truly selfish, self-centered people. They are black on the inside. Their life is spent drawing attention to themselves and demeaning others. So it just kills me that they are blessed with life, and I am not. People keep telling me that "it will happen" and "just relax", but I don't think anyone quite understands.
iamthinking iamthinking
8 Responses Feb 18, 2011

I really hope you can have a baby soon. will send positive thoughts your way!

Thank you for posting your story. I think sometimes we need to hear stories from other people in our position, because anyone who isn't in our position doesn't understand us. I keep watching other women around me have unplanned pregnancys, some of whom are initially upset about being pregnant, it feels like a stab in the back every time. I want to be happy for them, because I know I'm supposed to be, but I can't help it. All I feel is jealously.

I know it's been awhile that you posted your story. I hope you have had your blessing by now, and if not i am so sorry! your story has hit way to close to home for me, as i have just found out that my sister-in-law is pregnant! the news hurt so bad! My husband and i have been trying for 14 months and still nothing! the most heart renching part is that my brother-in-law never wanted kids, he wanted to get "fixed" long before he even met his wife but at the time was too young and had no other childern, no doctor would have done it for him,and some days and moments i wish he had been"fixed" and as far as his wife...don't get me started, but to our suprise look who gets to have a baby! My husband really took it hard, this is his only brother and his baby brother at that! my husband and i were together first, moved out first, and got married first and well yes wanted to have a baby first which would be the first grandbaby! but no his careless brother gets what we want so bad :( i hope it gets easier to deal with?! this whole thing has tested me to my breaking point! theres a whole lot more to my story, but for now i just wanted to get it out there that i do know how you feel or felt?! and its comforting to know there is other people out there that are dealing with what i am too now dealing with. and i also wanted to note its so hard to wait but if its been a year and your not pregnant don't wait go to the doctor i just made my appt. that i should have made 2 months ago! so i hope to hear something good! i need good news!!

over all it not just about ******* it about timing it right there only 4 day out of the month that a woman can get pregnant. if this keep up you might want to go with a donor. first get check out both you and him if it been this long and no baby then you might want to get check out. and then try the donor .. good luck

over all it not just about ******* it about timing it right there only 4 day out of the month that a woman can get pregnant. if this keep up you might want to go with a donor. first get check out both you and him if it been this long and no baby then you might want to get check out. and then try the donor .. good luck

When my husband came in and told me my best friend was pregnant I just started to cry. I was so jealous and angry at what felt like the whole universe! To top it off, she is going to have an abortion because she is not ready to change the way she lives for a child. The whole thing is breaking my heart. I am trying to support my friends decisions no matter what - I actually considered adopting her baby but my husband doesn't want to. He keeps saying "it will happen, we just have to keep trying..." <br />
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I know how you feel - and it hurts - it hurts soo bad. People keep telling me that having babies has to do with God. How can that be when crack-heads and prostitutes and rapists make babies all the time? <br />
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I am sorry this does not seem to be a very uplifting comment. Just keep your head held high and **** **** **** :)

thank you neyt for your comment! Its been awhile since i posted that, but we are still not pregnant :(. however i have come to terms with my sister-in-laws pregnancy, and have been excited about getting another nephew. your words are very true. holding on to the pain and anger cannot help, and we have to be strong. you are wise. thank you for your encouraging words :)

Fully understand your feelings. Somehow I'm in the same position. My husband have three adorable kids and I really love them. I'm much younger then mdh so his elsdest son is elder thn me. Kinky, but that's what love do. So his eldest son have recently become a father. The moment I found out his son's wife is pregnant I just burst into tears. It was a phone call, thanks God. I couldn't help myselt! At all. I was crying and crying and thinking that that's not fair. That woman is full of envy (really bad, black envy), selfish and the only think she wants from tge father of her husband is money or a service. She said so! WTF???????! And she is pregnant, from the first time. And I wasn't then and I'm still not:-( I was trying to "relax" and so on and similar things. The truth is there is nothing Outside ourselves that will help a woman in your/my position to cope with frustration she has. The only thing you can do is to talk to yourself (don't have to be loud:-) and try find some inner peace. Yoga, swimming, reading and whatever else will help, eventually, bit just a little and not for a long time. As long as you have the problem in yourself it will be allways present as a background in your thoughts. Try to be happy with what you have. I know you want more. I want more! The only thing I can say: "Stay in the line baby." And be strong. And if you believe in God, the next time you'll pray (probably in tears) for a baby for you and the pesron you love, pray also for all other women who fa e the same problem, pray for the baby that your sister-in-law will bring into this world (it's neither she nor her husband, it will be another Person) and say thanks for all that God gave to you (I'm sure there is a lot of that)... Do that because you'll feel better. I for sure will pray for you and your husband.