I Wish I Was Ready Now.

I have a son but it is not my husbands biological son. Even though he is the only father my son has and will ever know I would like my husband to see a piece of himself in a child. He doesn't think he can have children but we have never really tried. I wasn't quite ready for my son but I knew I would make it work but I can't give him everything I want to. I went back to school so I would be able to get a good job to provide for him I am doing well and I only have a couple of years left until. I am completely finished. I know that you never feel completely ready for a child but I at least want to have a stable career and have my degree so that I have a shot at taking care of these kids. My husband is also back in school and looking for a good job, but I keep thinking how I wish I was ready now! I know it would make my husband so happy but I don't want to be stuck in a situation where I can never get to the place I want to be. I have waited enough time and I am already behind so I feel like if I did have a child before I finish school I would be putting myself back at the beginning. Like I said I know that no one ever feels completely ready for a child but I just want to be able to give my kids the things that they should have. I would also like to be able to spend some time being a stay at home mother for a couple years. If my husband got a good job maybe I could work part time and stay with the kids but I feel like either way I am putting something on hold. For now having another child is on hold but this could change. Maybe I could do both without putting one thing aside but I also think that my husband is afraid to try for fear of finding out that he can't get me pregnant.
aprilriver aprilriver
31-35, F
11 Responses Aug 31, 2011

Never think that way because any an wish that he can have his own baby no matter ttha he accept being what on your past s i guess thats good to do and going to school and plan for your kids future is really a noble thoughts,and in the future you want to apply for work sure want a job employeer will considere your application and thats a plus factor for you can always get a good job when you have your degree and it helps alot even when you dont have money in your pocket anytime you look for job you have a degree.....

Well, since I am not on drugs anymore that won't be to much of a problem, my methadone treatment should be done before I decide to get pregnant but even if I did get pregnant on methadone it is not all that bad. Trust me I know everything there is to know about opiates. i used to spend study hall doing drug research in school then as an addict I spent so much time reading drug information and in recovery I learned even more. I know morphine causes birth defects, still birth and all kinds of problems but I don't have an issue with anything other than methadone, which as I said I will be done with soon. They put heroin addicted pregnant women on methadone because withdrawal causes miscarriages. A lot of times pregnant women on methadone need to raise their dose because the methadone goes to the fluid in the womb and it is hard to get the dose stabilized.

That's the trouble with computers! I apologize, for jumping off so to speak!! I made a mistake assuming things! Sorry, Sorry, Sorry !!! It''s starting to make more sense! As far as getting preggers, there is a severe problem with doing morphine ba<x>sed drugs and getting pregnant!! I am in pain management and for the longest time I wondered why I could get excited but had problems 'comind'!! After talking to a Dr. and doing research I found out an interesting FACT!! For men [especially] and women, morphine lowers your Testosterone in[men] and also effects women's ability to reproduce!! I personally take Androgel , and let me tell you, my **** seems to never leave me alone!! LOL!! I hope this is of some help!!! Peace/Love :)

I am not sure where you get the idea that my husband plays on my weakness? Or that he is giving me some sort of problems or not taking care of me somehow? No relationship is perfect but he is a great father and he wants to make me happy. I don't really understand your last comment, what do you mean enough bullshit. I didn't think I was bullshitting. My husband and I are very aware that our son comes first. Get what together and present what to my husband? He knows how I feel and he is very supportive of whatever I want to do. I am not sure if he can get me pregnant but if I want to have a baby he is more than willing to try. I think maybe I was unclear about this story, my issue is not with my husband being ready it is about me being at the right place in life to be able to take care of another child.

He isn't giving me Any ****, the problem is that I am in school and it makes sense to wait til I am finished but age wise I shouldn't wait much longer. My husband has no problem with anything I want to do. My child and I have a very happy life with my husband he is a great father and he wants children too. It is just the timing that is the issue.

Ok. That' s it!! Enough bullshit!! The kids come first anyway!!! So,WHAT TO DO ???YOU KNOW THE ANSWER SO GET it Together And present it in A WAY HE CAN DIG IT!! I f he even begins to give you ****, I want you to contact me, bring you and the kid here and I'll do my best to help you make a happy life for your your child and you!!! If I can;t handle it I know people who can!!!!! LOVE is the LAW, LOVE under WILL !!!

On the lighter side, I like you ,you are an awesome person, but I also sense there are alot of personal emotional issues at stake!! I wonder what YOU, your child, and husband look like??? It's none of my business, but I hate talking to people about personal issues without having a clue what they look like!! I can understand protecting your son as he's a minor, and I respect your decision!!But, WTF??? I get a feeling that he [husband] might be an enabler [or plays on your weaknesses] Am I wrong???I know you're married, whatnot, but I wish I could hold you in my arms, hug you hard, and help you with a big cry!! Stop right there!!! I don't mean sex, or dating, or any such shallow crap!!! Just two people who would feel much better, becoming one for a moment, sharing energy , provided by the one *GOD* :)

Thank you for saying something so nice. My husband and I have been through a lot I make things a little to easy for him so I think that probably makes me an enabler. I just have the type of personality where I can't be hard on someone that I know is having a hard time. We probably enable each other

So what is the big step with children?? You have a child from another relationship, and I'm sure he loves that one, I'm just not following it!! I say when a woman is in love and pregnant they absolutely glow, and are very attractive!! LOL!, probably all those hormones!!!

Nothing wrong with step children I just want another. I want to wait til the tiMing is right but I also don't want to wait to long I don't want to be to. Old either

true dat!!

I hear you, try it. Just becareful, W/we men say alot of things until W/we actually live it.

Doesnt know about this one. Men are not happier because they have children. W/we dont feel that need.

I know he wants a baby of his own though for the most part you are right especially because so many men don't feel the need to emotionally connect with their children but every one is different and I am absolutely positive he wants me to have his child. We have talked about it. Also he has a thing for pregnant women, some men think women are gross when they are pregnant but some guys have an almost fetishistic attitude towards them.