I Wish I Was Ready Now.
I have a son but it is not my husbands biological son. Even though he is the only father my son has and will ever know I would like my husband to see a piece of himself in a child. He doesn't think he can have children but we have never really tried. I wasn't quite ready for my son but I knew I would make it work but I can't give him everything I want to. I went back to school so I would be able to get a good job to provide for him I am doing well and I only have a couple of years left until. I am completely finished. I know that you never feel completely ready for a child but I at least want to have a stable career and have my degree so that I have a shot at taking care of these kids. My husband is also back in school and looking for a good job, but I keep thinking how I wish I was ready now! I know it would make my husband so happy but I don't want to be stuck in a situation where I can never get to the place I want to be. I have waited enough time and I am already behind so I feel like if I did have a child before I finish school I would be putting myself back at the beginning. Like I said I know that no one ever feels completely ready for a child but I just want to be able to give my kids the things that they should have. I would also like to be able to spend some time being a stay at home mother for a couple years. If my husband got a good job maybe I could work part time and stay with the kids but I feel like either way I am putting something on hold. For now having another child is on hold but this could change. Maybe I could do both without putting one thing aside but I also think that my husband is afraid to try for fear of finding out that he can't get me pregnant.