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I Want a Baby - Round 3

My husband and I have been trying to start a family now for 8 months and unfortunatley I have had 2 miscarraiges. The second even more devistating than the first. It seems since we have started this journey that everyone around me is suddendly having babies and with such ease.


It makes me have these horrible feelings of envy and jealousy,when I should be happy for my friends. Why can they have it so easy yet, for my husband and I life is and has been so much harder. UG.


I know cry me a river!! I hate feeling like this, sorry for myself. I feel very out of control.


I just want to have a baby, and start our family.

Goldielocks Goldielocks 26-30, F 13 Responses Nov 25, 2006

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it is so sad but keep on trying and pray as well

I hope u get your wish !

Goldielocks,



I know this post is 2+ years old now and you may never see my comment but .....



My wife had two miscarriages before we had our daughter. It turned out she had "polycystic ovary syndrome". If you carry extra weight around your midsection then there is a good chance this could be part of the problem. "polycystic ovary syndrome" decreases the chances of getting pregnant and increases the chances of having a miscarriage.



I'd like to say more but I'm not sure anyone will be reading this. I'll check for comments later.

oh im sry and blazin bebe and miseducated chik too!

goldielocks and donnamichele,

thank you for sharing your stories! you are both very brave people and telling your story gives others stregnth. wish you both the best!

I am truly sorry to hear about your loses. I know what you are going through, me and my significant have been trying for over 2 years to get pregnant, it just isn't happening to us. Seems like everytime WE have sex, someone ELSE gets pregnant.. I swear, they say it must be in the water but I too drink the water! It is the MOST frustrating and emotional thing one can possibly go through. There have been nights I cry myself to sleep.. it's getting to the point where we are actually talking about going to see a fertility doctor to see if something is wrong. But let me say, 8 months is not a long time to wait and try.. I promise you be lucky so far that's all you've gone through. Myself 2 years, and I know alot of people on a support group online for it, they talk abouthow they've tried for many, many years... 5-10-15 years just trying and not getting anywhere.. it's very discouraging, but like they always say - it happens when you least want it to or when you're not thinking about it.. easier said than done! But good luck, I really hope you get what you want SOON!!

First, it is ok to feel all those things. Second, have you talked with anyone? In our area there is hospice counseling, free, after you experience a loss.



Loosing a child is unlike any other experience. We lost a baby in April at 22 weeks 5 days pregnant... full on hospital labor and delivery. Even though we knew she was too sick to live, the months since she was born and died have been tough. It does get easier and the grief over the loss gets all tangled up somehow with still wanting a child to raise.



DON'T beat yourself up.

DO let your friends who can be understanding and supportive know you may need them more right now.

DO be specific about what you need with everyone.

( And this means even strangers) I have been very clear lately with even the gal at the pharmacy and checker at the grocery. Choose some simple statements like " I just need this to be easy" OR " Please help me" OR " I can't discuss this right now" help get you through hard stuff. After our loss my milk was persistent. I "leaked" in front of the same cashier (young guy) twice in a week! And not just a bit, I mean "we need a mop at check- out 5" sorta leak. The second time I quietly asked if he would wait until I left the store to call for the cleanup. IT was what I could handle, and he did as I asked. It gets easier. Just take it a moment at a time and be gentle with yourself.



As far as trying to conceive... there are herbs, but see a good herbalist, don’t try to self dose. Chiropractic and Acupuncture helps many women. SO does meditation. So does not pressuring yourself. I am doing it all. I expect it any time now, but am trying to live well and be as healthy as possible in the mean time. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

Believe me its ok to feel how you are feeling...I wanted to complete my family with my partner...During this time I have had two miscarriages and as you said it hurts alot more the second time around...Believe me I understand...I will keep you in my prayers...I know how you feel everyday I feel envious of others with there babies and pregnancy bellies...It breaks my heart...Everyday its getting easier and we decided to wait a while...It still hurts If you need to talk...PM me

I would suggest the PPP method: Patience, Persistance and Performance

One of my friends Mums got pregnant after she had given up trying after having three miscarriages. The doctor told her to stop having baths and have showers instead and then she fell pregnant. Good luck. x

Just keep trying mommy. I know it has to be stressful. I want one really bad too and haven't had any luck. I know how it feels to be envious of everyone's else easy road to baby. All i know is they say stress makes it harder. But how can you not stress. The only good thing and blessing is that your husband is standing right by you trying so just appreciate that and keep trying and loving each other

aww...i'm so sorry. i know exactly what you mean about everyone else having babies and some ppl aren't even responsible enough...like the 13 and 14 year olds. sometimes life just isn't fair, but good luck getting pregnant and not having a miscarriage. i hope it all works out for you hun. i had an older friend of mine in the same situation. it can be tough, but in the end i hope you get the baby you want and darn well deserve.

perhaps if you are having such emotional issues over it, the timing is not right for you OR the baby?