There Is a Lot More to It Than S*x...

My husband and I have been trying to have a baby for about 7 months now.  I didn't know it wasn't that easy.  Everything society tells you and your parents tell you about how easy it is to get pregant.. it isn't true (at least not for me).  I know that there are people that can get pregnant just by thinking about it but I just isn't that easy for me.  We have tried every thing imaginable to get pregs.  We have tried the tests that cost 50 dollars a pop and the time consuming charts and the hoping and praying, the constant let downs, the highs and low in emotions. 

We really thought we were pregs last month but when the flood gates opened I just sat on the toilet and cried a good "why me" cry. 

I know the depression that comes with this difficulty.  People say to stop thinking about it and just have fun but once you have your mind set on making a baby it is really hard to go backwards and not think about it even just a little. 

Dwbyant Dwbyant
22-25, F
3 Responses Apr 14, 2007

Wow! This post was 5.5 years ago! We now have a two year old daughter but it was still hard. We had to enlist the help of a fertility specialist and it cost us a pretty penny or two for ICSI IVF to get our child. We underwent this procedure in 2009 and on our first try our daughter was born in June 2010. It was a long and lonely road but we got through, though our sex life has not been the same since. It has suffered a blow for all of the schedule we put ourselves on trying.

I'm sorry for the hard times u've been through wish i knew what to say but i don't and i know how hard it is to go backward once u've set ur mind on making a baby...after our last fight my man and i took a few days apart the night i was back we made love he asked me if he had to wear a condom and i said no the part i didn't tell him til tonite is that i want a baby...since that nite i hav set my mind that i want a baby...tonite i found he's indifferent to the idea he said if it happens it happens if it doesn't it doesn't that really kinda stung me that i had spoken what i was feeling and it felt like it was being disregarded and that i said it all for nothing now i'm not sure if i should keep attempting to get pregnant or not Any advice?

DON'T beat yourself up. <br />
DO let your friends who can be understanding and supportive know you may need them more right now. <br />
Do be real about where you are, faking it doesn't help. <br />
DO be specific about what you need with everyone. Choose some simple statements like " I just need this to be easy" OR " Please help me" OR " I can't discuss this right now" to help get you through hard stuff.<br />
<br />
The "Don't think about it" comment is my top most hated bit of advice. I am 39, have one ovary and have heard that way too often. That and "Distract yourself" just tells me that the person speaking doesn't get where I am. Maybe they can't. Find people who can. I lost a baby at 22 weeks 5 days pregnant in April. SO, we aren't at the year to year and a half of trying that constitutes fertility issues. The idea that "Maybe my body isnt ready yet" doesn't comfort me. We did the daily ovulation tests for two months.... ugh, not sexy! I am currently trying to be healthy, eat more veggies and take walks and meditate... and seeing an acupuncturist and chiropractor. The acupuncturist I see is married to an herbalist so I am doing an herb combo too. Don't forget to steal little happinesses along the way. I write mine in a journal to read in the tough moments. Hugs.