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I'm Only 16, But I Want A Baby

I don't know why, but I have this urge to be a mother, even though im just 16. I want to look down and see a beautiful baby cradled in my arms and know that I brought it into the world. I want to have someone who I know depends on me, someone who needs me, and who I will love always care for and support. Someone I will help succeed at whatever they love and make them feel accepted for who they are. I want to look into their eyes and feel the connection of a mother and her child. I didn't have a brilliant childhood as my past is full of painful memories, and this is something I don't want for my child. I feel emotionally and physically ready to bring a child up. I truly want it so much, unbearably so.


What do I do?
izzynatasha izzynatasha 16-17, F 57 Responses Dec 30, 2012

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enjoy being a kid for now my advise lission to what some ppl are telling you teen pregnancy is not wise at your age grow up first fin school get good job

good luck being a mom as a teen. Who would watch the baby when your in school?

I know it's hard, but at least try and wait until you're out of your parent's (I'm guessing?) house and self-sufficient. You'll have a REALLY hard time ever taking off otherwise!

I know exactly how you feel. When I met my boyfriend at 16 we both shared the same ideas about family and thought we would both like to have a family at a young age. But we were having problems with school and had no home together. We were stupid and ran away together. 2 years living in other peoples homes and having no place to call our own and no work. But the whole time I kept thinking that I wanted to start a family and I'll do whatever it takes to give my future children the best home possible. And the first step is find someone who will be with you and help you. Its not easy doing it on your own or getting married several times, as my mom showed me. But I really know what its like, it excites you to think about it and makes you feel warm and full of wonderful ideas and hopes for the future. But timing is everything and I know it'll all work out for the best when you have family in mind.

shyt add me and ill give yu what yu want

I wouldnt do it your still developing premature babies are from really young girls around your age that has not the strength or things developed right yet. Having babies too early can result in premature babies maybe death in babies not sure on the death. But I was born early I had no ears and ( now I do they fixed them when I was a baby) I was born two months too early because my mom had me at a young age. They can have a severe or not so severe disability that is costly to medicate some people have to be medicated.But you are too young focus on the fun stuff. My own experiences made me learn this. I dont have kids. Be a kid for now be a teenager for now because later on in life you will wish you had a chance to be a kid or a teenager which ever term you decide.Be 25 years old before having kids because you should be fully developed by then and fully ready. More chances of having a healthy pregnancy. Once you hit 20 it goes faster the older you go or get life gets faster and faster. Trust me yesterday it feels like 2011 christmas and this year just ended.

I was 17 when I had my first child. I had to drop out of school and things were so hard. I love my children with all my soul. I have four kids ages 1,7,8,and 13. when my boys where babies I had to put them in daycare where he was dropped on his face then upon moving him to in home daycare he was hospitalized cause she overdosed him. I chose to go into the army to support my children when their father was disabled and they went to live with their dad. I wish I had waited until I could afford to be a parent or found a husband who would be ok with me staying home with our children. please wait until you are a bit older so you can enjoy your baby.

Totally normal!! Good luck!

WAIT... find a girl friend about your age who thinks like you and ask her what's it been like since she had her baby. Watch teen age shows about teens who have kids early and the major life changes that happen.

You didn't mention marriage, or financial responsibility, or where you and the baby will live. How will you pay for diapers, milk,baby carriage, medical needs, clothes, or the emotional support you will need once this baby takes all your time who will help you?

Ok, you might not think i understand cause im 13 but i do. I talk about my future and eager to get it started. but at our age guys are not committed to girls that they get pregnant. Its a good chance that he would either leave or cheat on you for the lack of time you two spend together. you only have to wait 2 more years at least. but make sure you are sure you want a child so young because ive heard and witnessed a teen pregnancy and the end up wishing the had more time to do stuff that there not able to do. im not saying you should take this advice if you are very eager, im just telling you to becareful. -

I know a few people that had children when they were young, though not as young as 16. It's hard work and life changes forever! Do they regret having children? No. Do they wish they'd waited and done some more things before having children? Yes.

They would have loved to have travelled more, done some more study without having to schedule it around children, taken that promotion, lived life a little bit more, got themselves more established financially etc. Once you have a child, all those things are still possible but it's much harder. Work is harder because you have to find child care that fits in with your hours, study is harder for obvious reasons, your social life deteriorates markedly and you find yourself only talking to other mothers while missing out on adult conversations, your finances go down the toilet as every spare cent seems to be spent on buying clothes, toys, child care fees etc. Holidays/vacations? You have to take them when everyone else is on holidays so the prices go up and everywhere is more crowded. You have to think about where you can go that's child friendly. Life changes when you have a child.. you have to be prepared to sacrifice your youth and you can't get it back once it's gone. A child is forever..

From what I understand of women, this is normal and natural. Feeling this way doesn't mean you should act on it though...

Be careful. I don't think any parent feels "emotionally and physically ready to bring a child up" after they actually have a child and know what they are talking about...

Are you already self sufficient to the point where you can pay for yourself and a child? What about emergency money? How can you know that the father will hang around? Does that even bother you? Have you lived your own life fully yet? Could you give your child a fair chance?

Well, everyone is going to tell you to wait. That you are not old enough or possibily ready.
I don't know if this is true, because I do not know you but I believe it's possible that you are ready and that you could do it.
What I want to say to you, is that you should go do something that you've always wanted to do. Something amazing, and maybe a little selfish. Then decide if you are ready to give up your life to totally satisfy another.
Best to you!

Wait but not too late.

Believe me: you're not ready. You're just a teen. Maybe it's really your inner-child who needs that kind of support. A pet is a good idea.

get a puppy.

Sorry you got so many comments from people stating the obvious AS IF YOU don't know that you're 16-17 and therefore probably but not definitely not financially independent. >_< ... Hmm. Maybe get a cat for now would be a better suggestion than just "You're too young! You're not financially stable" (as if anyone IS these days!)

I feel like this too.. I really really REALLY want to be a (really great) dad. From reading your story I can see you want a child for the right reasons; so I hope that fortune and circumstances turn out in your favour and your wish comes true soon. :) .. What do you do? Wait for circumtances to be right, which usually takes a long time these days so it is pretty unbearable like you said! but in the past people would be in the right circumstances to start a family much younger than they are now.. it's not about age, just about circumstances which happen to often correlate with age.. so work on making the circumstances right.. constructive activity kinda helps with the unbearableness too. :)

immature wish .better grow up ,in body and mind and attitude to life

are you saying grown-ups don't feel like this?

Having a child is a big responsibility, and not something that should be rushed into. It is one thing to be physically and psychologically ready but can you support the child and give the child what it needs most, a stable environment in which it can grow in. If you are not financially ready then I would say wait until you are. But if you are then why the hell shouldn't you have a baby? At the end of the day it's your choice, and nobody elses if you feel that you are ready to have a child and can support it then i would say go for it.

Considering how young you are, It would be even harder to raise a child for a good life like you want without some sense of emotional or somewhat financially stable. If you absolutely must feel the need of being needed, then try maybe like a big brother/sister program, file for adopting when you get older, or just volunteering where there are kids needing help and support like you want to give.
I was in this state not too long ago, I was prepared to trash everything for a family or even a bastard child. It's a mixture of a biological clock and to fill in that gap that you have had in your past; it is natural and ok. If you absolutely have to have a kid right now, I won't exactly agree but i can't stop you. Look at all your possibilities and do what you think is right.

would you really want it if it kept you up all night or made you give up everything for it

that's the idea isn't it? :)

When you are young, there are things that you can do better than when you are older. You teen life is something that you would have preferred to enjoy when you discuss this issue with those who have been where you are at the moment. Take their advice and be a mother who can give the best for her child. Physically, materially, emotionally, etc

Things like staying up all night? :)

I was 17 when I had my first child, being a parent is the absolute best job in the world, personally I have always been older for my age, but I would say if I could have my life over again I would wait until I was older, I thought it was going to be amazing having a baby to look after and an older man looking after me but in reality its very,very hard! Live your life first...see the world, experience everything you can and then think about settling down! theres plenty of time for babies...I am now 29 with 5 littleones, all of my babies are my world, but if anyone ever asks me what I want for my childrens futures my response is a simple one 'as long as they don't end up like me I will be happy' ....really seriously live your life first xxxx

You are too young. I understand you've had a hard childhood...and want to give a child all that you have not had. I believe you mean this, and this is very admirable, but it doesn't sound like you are emotionally ready. You make it sound like you are, but I can tell you're hurting and are looking for something to fix your hurt. Please wait. All the best. :-)

You could sit and start thinking to yourself "What will I do when I GROW UP!!!" because you idea is the most damn foolish, childish stupidest thing I have heard in a long time! Babies are not surrogate toys to be played with for a couple of months until you get bored, they are not all sweetness and light, they demand your 100% attention ... 100% of the time which leads to sleep deprivation. Children SHOULD BE THE PRODUCT OF LOVE BETWEEN TWO PEOPLE not some idiotic idea (probably spawned from a magazine or TV).Below my response it advised "Please respond with authenticity, support, and respect" - I've added honesty to the list. No grown up should waste a second offering you support at this time - reread your question and the answer is obvious - you use the word "I" no less than 14 times. Babies are NOT about what YOU want but what you can give. I hate and loathe the idea of babies being born "by accident" or fro wrong reasons - grow up, realise that you are still an innocent child and motherhood should not be contemplated from MANY, MANY years. Don't even consider a puppy (I saw that suggestion) they also have needs which go on for far longer than you are likely to offer the support needed. AND PLEASE, FOR THE SAKE OF BABIES, IF YOU HAVE SEX PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE TAKE PRECAUTIONS.

AMEN! i couldn't have said it better myself.
my mom (R.I.P) used to say, "too soon old, too late smart." she was a smart Lady.

Thank you - I am surprised. My response is from the heart and quite vicious. I expected any comment to have been negative to my comment. I just hope she reads, understands and learns from it

Yes you are vicious. You're a nasty piece of work. All the OP did was express HER EXPERIENCE of having the feeling of wanting a baby. Her feelings are valid, her experience is her own. She never said she intended or would or will have a baby any time soon. You called her stupid, yet you didn't read the story. You're abusive. You're a total ****. Please do everyone a favour: leave this site and never return, you total ****.

Aha! The sort on response I expected from the the expression was never of "Feelings" it was "desire". We clearly have different opinions mine come with 60 years of life experience and three (well-balanced) children (although I'm not sure why I bother to justify me answer to you). You clearly don't speak for everyone when you suggest I leave the site As daguid agreed with my comments - yet further justification of you inability to string a cohesive response together. Thank you and good night!

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Why not adopt a child with a bad past of being abused? Then you can have the fulfilling job of showing them how love can change how they see the world.

I do love that idea.. haha I just realised I have the "Leon" pic as my avatar so that's kinda apt! :) This would be so wonderful; but it's so hard to get any kind of support as an adult who has experienced childhood abuse that it makes me expect it'd be just as hard getting help and support raising a child who has been abused. There is obviously a risk of passing on issues and actually not doing the best job if the support isn't there or is insufficient or w/e. It'd be good to find out lots more about this and actually what it's really like to adopt a child who has been abused.

your life is empty and you are tring to fill a void, having a baby isnt the answer, maybe some volounrty work with children would help for now untill you are in a better place. theres no rush, you are still very young, there is so much you could be doing.

What a lovely thing to look forward to. Being a mother is the most magical, inspiring, all consuming, tear your hair out frustrating job there is. When you hold that little person in your arms you are bound to love it more than you ever thought possible and you'll want to be able to provide for it all the things it needs to succeed and even excel in life. That includes food, shelter, medical support, childcare, good schooling, swimming, sport & music lessons & equipment and the list goes on and on. It's also so much easier with a 2nd parent you can count on. If you aren't in a position to provide all that just yet, you will wish you waited. It's so painful to look at a child you love so very much who needs something and not be able to provide it. Holding that baby will be every bit as wonderful whenever it happens. Try to enjoy being young and free for a while without the weight of the pain from your past. You deserve that as much as you deserve the beautiful children you will one day have.

I will support you whatever you do is world is make of furter you need to create by yourself is you think this is right thing to do we cant stop u .... ;") so watever you do just dont be so regard ...! That wat i wish for .... ;")