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I'm Only 16, But I Want A Baby

I don't know why, but I have this urge to be a mother, even though im just 16. I want to look down and see a beautiful baby cradled in my arms and know that I brought it into the world. I want to have someone who I know depends on me, someone who needs me, and who I will love always care for and support. Someone I will help succeed at whatever they love and make them feel accepted for who they are. I want to look into their eyes and feel the connection of a mother and her child. I didn't have a brilliant childhood as my past is full of painful memories, and this is something I don't want for my child. I feel emotionally and physically ready to bring a child up. I truly want it so much, unbearably so.


What do I do?
izzynatasha izzynatasha 16-17, F 54 Responses Dec 30, 2012

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Any takers yet?

I am 16 and I want a baby as well. More than anything, but I have no interest in sex, I honestly find it gross. Sadly I am way to young to have a child of my own. But it still bugs me

enjoy being a kid for now my advise lission to what some ppl are telling you teen pregnancy is not wise at your age grow up first fin school get good job

good luck being a mom as a teen. Who would watch the baby when your in school?

I know it's hard, but at least try and wait until you're out of your parent's (I'm guessing?) house and self-sufficient. You'll have a REALLY hard time ever taking off otherwise!

shyt add me and ill give yu what yu want

I wouldnt do it your still developing premature babies are from really young girls around your age that has not the strength or things developed right yet. Having babies too early can result in premature babies maybe death in babies not sure on the death. But I was born early I had no ears and ( now I do they fixed them when I was a baby) I was born two months too early because my mom had me at a young age. They can have a severe or not so severe disability that is costly to medicate some people have to be medicated.But you are too young focus on the fun stuff. My own experiences made me learn this. I dont have kids. Be a kid for now be a teenager for now because later on in life you will wish you had a chance to be a kid or a teenager which ever term you decide.Be 25 years old before having kids because you should be fully developed by then and fully ready. More chances of having a healthy pregnancy. Once you hit 20 it goes faster the older you go or get life gets faster and faster. Trust me yesterday it feels like 2011 christmas and this year just ended.

I was 17 when I had my first child. I had to drop out of school and things were so hard. I love my children with all my soul. I have four kids ages 1,7,8,and 13. when my boys where babies I had to put them in daycare where he was dropped on his face then upon moving him to in home daycare he was hospitalized cause she overdosed him. I chose to go into the army to support my children when their father was disabled and they went to live with their dad. I wish I had waited until I could afford to be a parent or found a husband who would be ok with me staying home with our children. please wait until you are a bit older so you can enjoy your baby.

Totally normal!! Good luck!

WAIT... find a girl friend about your age who thinks like you and ask her what's it been like since she had her baby. Watch teen age shows about teens who have kids early and the major life changes that happen.

You didn't mention marriage, or financial responsibility, or where you and the baby will live. How will you pay for diapers, milk,baby carriage, medical needs, clothes, or the emotional support you will need once this baby takes all your time who will help you?

Ok, you might not think i understand cause im 13 but i do. I talk about my future and eager to get it started. but at our age guys are not committed to girls that they get pregnant. Its a good chance that he would either leave or cheat on you for the lack of time you two spend together. you only have to wait 2 more years at least. but make sure you are sure you want a child so young because ive heard and witnessed a teen pregnancy and the end up wishing the had more time to do stuff that there not able to do. im not saying you should take this advice if you are very eager, im just telling you to becareful. -

I know a few people that had children when they were young, though not as young as 16. It's hard work and life changes forever! Do they regret having children? No. Do they wish they'd waited and done some more things before having children? Yes.

They would have loved to have travelled more, done some more study without having to schedule it around children, taken that promotion, lived life a little bit more, got themselves more established financially etc. Once you have a child, all those things are still possible but it's much harder. Work is harder because you have to find child care that fits in with your hours, study is harder for obvious reasons, your social life deteriorates markedly and you find yourself only talking to other mothers while missing out on adult conversations, your finances go down the toilet as every spare cent seems to be spent on buying clothes, toys, child care fees etc. Holidays/vacations? You have to take them when everyone else is on holidays so the prices go up and everywhere is more crowded. You have to think about where you can go that's child friendly. Life changes when you have a child.. you have to be prepared to sacrifice your youth and you can't get it back once it's gone. A child is forever..

From what I understand of women, this is normal and natural. Feeling this way doesn't mean you should act on it though...

Be careful. I don't think any parent feels "emotionally and physically ready to bring a child up" after they actually have a child and know what they are talking about...

Are you already self sufficient to the point where you can pay for yourself and a child? What about emergency money? How can you know that the father will hang around? Does that even bother you? Have you lived your own life fully yet? Could you give your child a fair chance?

Well, everyone is going to tell you to wait. That you are not old enough or possibily ready.
I don't know if this is true, because I do not know you but I believe it's possible that you are ready and that you could do it.
What I want to say to you, is that you should go do something that you've always wanted to do. Something amazing, and maybe a little selfish. Then decide if you are ready to give up your life to totally satisfy another.
Best to you!

Wait but not too late.

Believe me: you're not ready. You're just a teen. Maybe it's really your inner-child who needs that kind of support. A pet is a good idea.

get a puppy.

immature wish .better grow up ,in body and mind and attitude to life

Having a child is a big responsibility, and not something that should be rushed into. It is one thing to be physically and psychologically ready but can you support the child and give the child what it needs most, a stable environment in which it can grow in. If you are not financially ready then I would say wait until you are. But if you are then why the hell shouldn't you have a baby? At the end of the day it's your choice, and nobody elses if you feel that you are ready to have a child and can support it then i would say go for it.

Considering how young you are, It would be even harder to raise a child for a good life like you want without some sense of emotional or somewhat financially stable. If you absolutely must feel the need of being needed, then try maybe like a big brother/sister program, file for adopting when you get older, or just volunteering where there are kids needing help and support like you want to give.
I was in this state not too long ago, I was prepared to trash everything for a family or even a bastard child. It's a mixture of a biological clock and to fill in that gap that you have had in your past; it is natural and ok. If you absolutely have to have a kid right now, I won't exactly agree but i can't stop you. Look at all your possibilities and do what you think is right.

would you really want it if it kept you up all night or made you give up everything for it

When you are young, there are things that you can do better than when you are older. You teen life is something that you would have preferred to enjoy when you discuss this issue with those who have been where you are at the moment. Take their advice and be a mother who can give the best for her child. Physically, materially, emotionally, etc

I was 17 when I had my first child, being a parent is the absolute best job in the world, personally I have always been older for my age, but I would say if I could have my life over again I would wait until I was older, I thought it was going to be amazing having a baby to look after and an older man looking after me but in reality its very,very hard! Live your life first...see the world, experience everything you can and then think about settling down! theres plenty of time for babies...I am now 29 with 5 littleones, all of my babies are my world, but if anyone ever asks me what I want for my childrens futures my response is a simple one 'as long as they don't end up like me I will be happy' ....really seriously live your life first xxxx

You are too young. I understand you've had a hard childhood...and want to give a child all that you have not had. I believe you mean this, and this is very admirable, but it doesn't sound like you are emotionally ready. You make it sound like you are, but I can tell you're hurting and are looking for something to fix your hurt. Please wait. All the best. :-)

You could sit and start thinking to yourself "What will I do when I GROW UP!!!" because you idea is the most damn foolish, childish stupidest thing I have heard in a long time! Babies are not surrogate toys to be played with for a couple of months until you get bored, they are not all sweetness and light, they demand your 100% attention ... 100% of the time which leads to sleep deprivation. Children SHOULD BE THE PRODUCT OF LOVE BETWEEN TWO PEOPLE not some idiotic idea (probably spawned from a magazine or TV).Below my response it advised "Please respond with authenticity, support, and respect" - I've added honesty to the list. No grown up should waste a second offering you support at this time - reread your question and the answer is obvious - you use the word "I" no less than 14 times. Babies are NOT about what YOU want but what you can give. I hate and loathe the idea of babies being born "by accident" or fro wrong reasons - grow up, realise that you are still an innocent child and motherhood should not be contemplated from MANY, MANY years. Don't even consider a puppy (I saw that suggestion) they also have needs which go on for far longer than you are likely to offer the support needed. AND PLEASE, FOR THE SAKE OF BABIES, IF YOU HAVE SEX PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE TAKE PRECAUTIONS.

AMEN! i couldn't have said it better myself.
my mom (R.I.P) used to say, "too soon old, too late smart." she was a smart Lady.

Thank you - I am surprised. My response is from the heart and quite vicious. I expected any comment to have been negative to my comment. I just hope she reads, understands and learns from it

Aha! The sort on response I expected from the the expression was never of "Feelings" it was "desire". We clearly have different opinions mine come with 60 years of life experience and three (well-balanced) children (although I'm not sure why I bother to justify me answer to you). You clearly don't speak for everyone when you suggest I leave the site As daguid agreed with my comments - yet further justification of you inability to string a cohesive response together. Thank you and good night!

Why not adopt a child with a bad past of being abused? Then you can have the fulfilling job of showing them how love can change how they see the world.

your life is empty and you are tring to fill a void, having a baby isnt the answer, maybe some volounrty work with children would help for now untill you are in a better place. theres no rush, you are still very young, there is so much you could be doing.

I will support you whatever you do is world is make of furter you need to create by yourself is you think this is right thing to do we cant stop u .... ;") so watever you do just dont be so regard ...! That wat i wish for .... ;")

This is a very natural feeling. It's important to wait until you have the resources that a baby requires. The first lesson to learn as a parent is to put the needs of the child ahead of your own. Right now your future baby needs you to secure a good income and find a partner who loves you and will be with you forever. Take the extra time to figure this out first.
There are people who have done this young and alone but the failures outnumber the success stories and too often lead to abuse.
You can get the same feeling doing something nice for someone else. Take a babysitting class and Make some money taking care of kids. It could lead you to a rewarding career.

I had my first when I was 18. Worrying about rent, bills, formula, diapers, and work is not for a girl that age, and definitely not for a 16 year old. My credit is still slightly ruined--and I'm old now, from all those years where I would be finding change for gas money. You won't be able to keep up with your friends, you also won't have nice things. It will take a very long time to get yourself on track again. Children are fun, beautiful, and amazing...but they are also work. They are little people. They will have their own likes and dislikes, their own hopes and dreams. Imagine you did have a beautiful daughter. She's 16, and wants to be pregnant. What would YOU tell her?

Just a suggestion, but maybe you should find a part-time job working in some kind of day care or child care center. That way you can exercise your maternal instincts without actually having a baby. I think it goes without saying that having a baby at your age is absolutely the last thing you should do. You still have high school to finish, and then college. You won't be doing that with a baby. And what kind of life can you give your child without a college education? You would be condemning him/her to a pretty rough life.

"I want to have someone who I know depends on me, someone who needs me, and who I will love always care for and support" is not a proper reason for a child - not at 16, not even at 26 or 36. Sorry for that.....

hmm, I understand
babies, children r so lovely, I'd like to work with them
I think u have to be at the right time in ur life, so u don't end up resenting the baby a bit cuz it restricts ur life, but it aid also be amazing
I sat, have one when u like, as long as u make sure the dad is reliable and in it for the long term

You wait about 4 more years, and also make sure you pick a good father?

My Son N His Girl Friend thought it would be so KOOL to have a baby....they were about ur age. Well it s almost 2 years since baby Nijah was born. Nothing seems so KOOL now. The baby's Mom doesn't have much free time to do the things she liked doing before the baby. She went from a young teen to a young mother that now has to be totally available for her daughter. Friends left....no one wants to hang out anymore cuzthe baby takes all the attention. My Son no longer can do the stuff he liked doing on weekends cuz he has to take care of his daughter. No more allowance to spend on video games cuz the pampers & baby needs come first. Yes...having a baby is so Kool....the time devoted to the baby leave you with no time for youself. The frustrations build up....the regrets roll in....but the baby's needs just grow n grow!!!! Yes...babies are so cute n rosey cheeked...so precious.....so adoreable!!!! And OH SO TIME CONSUMING!!!!!!

This just sounds selfish

Those are not really good reasons to bring another person into this world. I agree with Ladybugkate.

Another thing you might not have concidered is that if you do decide to go through with it and then find out that you cant cope, you can always put the baby up for adoption. Sounds cruel but there are a lot of couples out there who want a baby just as bad as you do who cant have one of their own.

I was goin to write this long post about how you have your whole life ahead of you ! Looks like everyone is tellin you the same . Its hard to raise a child . My daughter had a baby at 15 delivered early. She lived for 13 days ,not something a child should ever have to endure ,she had to make the choice to take her off live support . She was a child herself . So please babysit have fun !!!

I have taught of it has well. Think about your life, that desire you feel, it's normal. If you want someone to depend on you, you can do volunteering and you can babysit so that you can experience taking care of children. Wish you the best

All your responses are rather ammusing since doctors are now encouraging girls to have kids as young as possible in order to reduce the risks of complications. Personally I dont care which way she goes with this as its her life and her decission but (now please dont take this the wrong way cause your all entitled to your own opinions too but if you listen to what you all wrote.) you all sound like hypocrits and opinionated attention seekers just regergatating the same thing your parents told you.

Times change, even your own bodies dissagree with you, your able to fall pregnan from 13 years old. Look at it from an objective point of view, present her with the facts and move on.

I bet you're going to be a wonderful mother but please wait. You'll be able to give all the things you want your child to have and not have the financial worries you'll have now. Have you thought about mentoring a little sister or brother? I know there are younger kids out that would just love having someone caring in their life. I hope you'll consider it. You seem so caring and genuine. I think it would be great for a child to be in your life.

i know how you feel i felt the same way ..but i come to realize i wanted a baby for all the wrong reasons .think r u ready to support a child .There isnt a book to teach you how to be a mom with rules and instructions .think about it b4 anything a baby isnt Missouri its a bundle of hope but at its time . a mother never stops being a mother not even in death bc shes always watching over them n waiting for her child to be with them once again think about this decision please think about it .

I'm 17, and I have a son who's turning a year old in 2 weeks. you can be 30 years old and you still wouldn't be mentally or emotionally ready! taking care of someone else's kids or babysitting and what not is sooo much more different. It's hard, it really is. It takes a toll on you mentally and physically.

Don't do it, because you'll ruin your future. Your life is over if you have a baby at 16. Wait and when you get of age, then have a baby.

i don’t think that you would ruin your future.
It would definitely change her future if she were to get pregnant at 16, and it would probably make things a bit more difficult. but it wouldn’t ruin her future.
But, it would be a harder life for the Child. Babies are wonderful gifts. But, babies also need alot of love, patience, maturity, and stability.
just my thoughts.

Yeah, I guess there's still a chance for a future but you're right about it being alot harder. & what I mean by that is if she plans to go to collage and find a good job. She couldn't do that and raise a child at the same time.

Trust me when I say this, either take up a regular job as a babysitter or go work at a daycare. If you really have baby fever daycare is the best choice. Trust me you won't have baby fever anymore and you'll understand how much responsibility and commitment it takes to raise a child. Most humans are selfish and to become a parent you have to become completely selfless and at sixteen you really don't want that kind of responsibility. You don't want to be having to stay home with your child while all your friends are going to prom or the movies and eventually going away to college. I work at a daycare and it's almost enough to make me not want to have a child. Lol I love children and have worked with them for so long and love working with them. But, I'm 23 and I still don't feel ready for that. Just wait it out take up some kind of job with children and you'll get over it.

ok, i know i'm only 12 1/2 but i am highly educated on this stuff. i watch movies and shows that help me so i can give advice to people. and you should wait. yeah every girl dreams of having a child one day but you don't have to do it right now. you want to support and provide for your baby but having he or she right now isn't going to help. you still have college and family. yes children that you can bring into the world your self is probably the most beautiful thing that a woman can do. don't you want to go and finish school, get married, and have a good supporting job too. i'm not trying to rain on your parade, but this baby can ruin your reputation, family, and most importantly if u do have one your child's life. so all im saying is wait until u finish school get married and have a well paying job before giving life to someone else. children are a lot of work. that's coming from me, a child. just wait it's not worth it,yet.

Maybe volunteer or get a job as a babysitter or in a day care or orphanage until you're ready for the real thing.

So I'm assuming you live in your own apartment/home, have a full-time job, a car with insurance and health insurance with a dental plan. I also assume you can cook healthy meals, sweep, mop, vacuum, dust, wash and sterilize baby bottles, wash your and the baby's clothes and are prepared to be peed on, pooped on, and vomited on sometimes multiple times daily. Also, I hope you are prepared to do all these things on sometimes less than two hours of sleep a night, as well as play with and teach this baby. And, you will have to stay at home or take the baby with you everywhere, and if you don't have someone suitable to watch it, even into the bathroom. These are just a fraction of the responsibilities of raising a child-so I do hope you have your child but please wait until you have your life together before you do.

Your maternal instincts are calling on you, which is a normal part of your biology. However, in this day and age, you are not doing your child any favors if you have them so early. You seem like a nice person, and it seems that you would want you children to be able to depend on you when they are vulnerable. Because of that, please make sure you are financially and emotionally secure first, before you bring them into the world. Otherwise, you are doing neither you nor them any favor.

For now, how about you adopt a pet?

YOU ARE NOT OLD ENOUGH I WAITED TIL I WAS 38 MUCH BETTER I WAS DONE WITH ALL CRAZY STUFF AT 38 I WAS READY FOR NOTHING BUT BEING A MOM

You didnt read my post did you... Whilst im not trying to influence her in either direction, I do think it is wreckless to plan for close to 40.

NOPE DIDNT READ IT. WAS LPN FOR OVER 30 YRS SAW WHAT HAPPENED TO GIRLS THAT HAD CHILDREN YOUNG MADE A DECISION THAT WAS SOUND GAVE ADVICE THAT WAS SOUND .

Essentially there are two choices.
1. Have children now
Benefits: Your young and can run around after them easily. Its healthier for both you and your child as DNA does not begin to degrade till your 25.
Downfalls: You miss out on your own youth and dont get to travel till your older, which is also harder. Your probably not married and set up in a house of your own yet so the churchies will complain. (tell them its immaculate conception).

2. Have children latter.
Benefits: You can enjoy your own youth and travel when your young. When you do have children you will probably be married and own your own home. Churchies will be happy. You will most likely be more financially secure and able to provide for them better.
Downfalls: DNA has degraded, sids and down syndrome are possibilities. You find it harder to run around after them. You might not even be able to have kids if you leave it too late.

The final question is: Are you financially secure?

Being financially secure means that you have and always will have a job, you can always have money, and that you know how to balance between things you want opposing to things you need.

How do you expect me to raise a child and get a job?

Also, during your school career, it is not advised to have children as your time is taken up already by learning. If you don't want to finish school or you don't want to go to college (both of these choices are not shameful), I think you should have a child. Take some child psychology classes beforehand though! It's an eye-opener to what you should and shouldn't do with children/

How do you expect to raise a child without having a job? Children are more expensive than cars. I should know, my family owns a car dealership.

And believe me, I know exactly how you feel. I really want to have kids NOW. I've wanted to since I was your age, but I knew I needed to make sure I could provide for a child first, so I am going to continue going to school and go onto college so that my child will be brought into a (hopefully) financially secure home.

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You should read my profile, i've made a few posts addressing these issues.