I Dream Of A Child...I am a pre-op transgender female that would love to one day have a baby like so many women do every day. I have had vivid dreams on a regular basis that are so real I can feel them.
When Mike made his second attempt he managed to get it to push in a little. Rose felt like the world was going to explode. The sensation was nothing like she had ever felt before. It was like fire and ice had merged into one feeling. Then she felt Mike push again and everything she felt from the first thrust amplified and shot through her like a bolt of lightning. Her body now quivering, more than she ever had as man or woman, Mike gave a third thrust but unlike the first two this one was all fire. It shot from her vagina all the way to her head and toes and just as fast as it started it was gone. Mike gave his fourth thrust and Rose could feel her toes curl.
His motion suddenly started to get faster and faster and Rose felt like her body was going to erupt from all of the feeling she was now feeling. After what felt like only a few seconds but knew it had been much longer she felt Mike tighten up and give one last thrust and as he did she felt her body do the same. She felt something shoot into her as her body tightened up pulling Mike into her and holding him there. And then she found she was able to think again and she released him.
Mike pulled out and she could feel something, something had started oozing out of her vagina. She knew it had to be Mike’s ***. So trying not to think about it she started to look around for her clothes so she could get dressed. Soon she had her shirt and bra. Then she gave another glance around and found her skirt, but no sign of the panties.
This was a dream I had just this summer about 9 months before the next part of this story.
The pain coming from my stomach and crotch was nothing like anything I had ever felt before. It was like a million hot knifes stabbing me all at once, burning, tearing and ripping every muscle I had trying to make my insides my outsides. The doctor and nurses kept telling me I can do it and I needed to breathe, but the pain was intense and I kept thinking it was going to kill me if it did not stop soon.
I could not think for the pain I was feeling and the screaming I was hearing in my ears, my own screams. Every time someone told me I would be fine I felt the need to grab something, anything, on them and make them understand this was killing me. At one point the doctor even took my hand, with little more than a word, “Here”, and guided me to feel what I was pushing out. I felt the crown of a small head; hairy and round but it was the head of my baby. I hurt so badly that I wanted it all to stop and I begged them to do something, anything to make it all go away, but after felling the head it gave my new strength to go on. I had to do this for my baby, my child.
I had been in full labor for just over four hours when things finally started to feel better. Though the pain was still there, it was more of a background pain and much duller then just a moment before. I now had a 6 pound 12 ounce baby girl lying in my arms. I felt worn out and wanted to sleep but I wanted this child much more. She was so beautiful that I started to cry as soon as I saw her. This child grew in me for the last 9 and half months. She came from me just as tiny as she could be and she was all mine, every bit of her, from her ten little tows to the tuff of really fine hair on her head.
Just as I thought it was all over and I would be able to rest with my new child, I had another quick pain and I looked down just in time to see a large blob of crimson red mass fall out from between my legs. I knew what it was as soon as it happened but it was still a shock to see. I asked the doctor to make sure it was the placenta and not a really large blood clot that it looked like. He told me I had just pushed it out but I did not remember doing anything just feeling the sharp pinch right before it plopped out. Did I really do something to force it out?
Now another 8 months later I had another dream this one of caring for that child who had gotten sick. She was running a fever of 101.3 and I was getting worried. She would not stop crying and I had told my husband I would not let him take over even if I had not slept in two days. I was crying from not knowing what was about to happen and from the fear I was going to loose this child. I remember calling many times trying to get a holed of a doctor that would not answer or return my calls fast enough. When I finally did get someone I was asked to bring my baby to the hospital and he would meet me there.
We broke every speed limit in town and blew nearly every stop sign almost hitting a cop at one. He led the last mile to the hospital and with sirens blaring the whole way. We arrived at the hospital right as my baby stopped breathing. I did not know what to do and started screaming. My husband must have gone in or maybe it was the cop to get someone to help.
I was led away by my husband and the cop while my baby was taken by the medical people. I do not know how much time passed or what others were doing around me. I was only thinking about my baby and how I might not see her again. The next thing I do remember is looking around and seeing my husband asleep on one of the couches as a nurse came out and led me back to see my baby girl.
The doctor was waiting for my in the room when the nurse led me in. He told me that my baby had contracted meningitis and they had her on some very powerful medication. They would be looking in on her every so often until she woke up, or she... I could not listen to the last few words and somehow managed not to hear them. I walked over to my baby and sat on the hide-a-bed chair they had brought in for me.
I lied there crying, hoping and praying she would wake up. Three days passed and still no movement from her other than small twitches. I had begone to loose hope by the end of the fifth day when she let out a little squeak. I had jumped from the chair and watched for her to do something more. It was another hour before she finally opened her eyes.
I was so happy I started crying as I smiled at her and putt my hand on the side of her head. She was alive and awake, I was just reaching out my other hand to pick her up when the doctor put his hand on my shoulder and asked if he could check her really fast. Hesitantly I backed away and let the doctor work. I did not know what he was going to say but I did not care I just wanted my baby.
He told me I could pick her up but I had to stay close to the machines. I ran forward and grabbed my baby with trembling arms and help her close. The doctor again grabbed my shoulder and told me she was going to be fine. No I could not help it I had to sit and brake to peaces. My baby was okay, she was going to live.
The doctor grabbed me around the shoulders and hugged me tight making sure my baby was not being crushed between us. He told me they had to make sure she did not have any brain damage but from what he could tell she would be back to her normal self in a few weeks at the most. It was a few more days before she was able to go home and I never left her side for longer than it took to take a shower. Something I had not done since before she got sick.
It was dark outside when we finally got home from the hospital. We had just walked in and turned on the lights when the room suddenly came to life with people. It was our friends welcoming us home from the hospital. I started to cry again from everything that had happened that week and half and I could not take the stress of it all any more. I remember handing my baby to my husband as I ran out the door and got into my car. I did not know why nor where I was going, just that I had to get away for a little while.
I remember pacing a the local police station and thinking about that cop that led us to the hospital. I suddenly felt a strong urge to turn around and go back to the police station, so I did. I talked to the lady behind the desk asking about the cop that had led us to the hospital that faithful day the week before. She knew right off who I was asking about and told me he was just getting off and would be out in a moment.
I waited for nearly twenty minutes before he exited the back carrying his thing on one shoulder. He remembered me as soon as he saw me and asked me about my baby. I explained to him how she was doing and then invited him to the party I was sure was still going on back at my home. He thought for a minute then agreed and we left the station, with him following behind me the whole way.
We arrived and found everyone sitting around the living room waiting for my return. I introduced my new friend to everyone in the room including my beautiful baby girl. His heart bursted with joy as his eyes filled with tears. My husband pulled me aside and asked one question and I agreed. Once everyone sat, the officer still holding the child my husband cleared his thought and got everyone's attention.
"We have an announcement to make and I think my beautiful wife should be the one to make it." My husband had started with a goofy smile on his face that I loved.
"I would like to ask if Officer Anderson would be the god father to Rachael?" I asked holding on to my husband as though he might fly away or I might fall.
Officer Anderson bowed his head and sobbed a graces yes. The room lit with excitement and even Rachael smiled as she laid in the arms of her new godfather.
These are all real dreams and I think somewhere out there in another universe I am a real woman caring for her first child. I know some do not believe this is possible and that is fine. I do not care if you believe or not.
This is me and I enjoy these dreams and really wish they were my life.
Rose35 36-40, T 7 Responses 1 Jan 22, 2013