I'm Sorry, I Failed As Your Best Friend

i admit that i never cry in front of anyone but that doesn't mean i don't cry. I do cry a lot, but every tears that drop is not meaningless, they do have their own reason to drop. Just like the time when you suddenly message me telling you're going to move away, i cried. And every time we quarrel , i also cry. You never knew about that, do you?
No wonder you never saw me crying, because you never care. Just like yesterday, your sudden confession broke me into teary eyes but you also didn't realise it do you? really, who am i to you?
I do remember told you be an overt person once a while. But this time they hurt me so much. You told me you can only trust your mom. I could deal with it because i know mom is someone who can't be replace by anyone. Then you told me the friend who you can trust wasn't me. How could i deal with that? what does this 4 years friendship mean if you never trust me? am i the only who trust you, and think of you as my best friend? i never knew you're such a cold person until now. Hey, did time change you into this kind of heartless person? or is it my selfishness who changed you ?
Then again you told me "what does friend means if they can fight each other down" . Those sentence realise me what a ***** i am. I remember back then, i wasn't happy and jealous every time when you got high score. But you know what, that was because i can't accept the fact i lost to you. My god.. what a ***** am i? i'm so sorry.. maybe you are right, i'm not someone who you can trust. And I know just a sorry won't enough but i want you to know, best friend does exist somewhere so please don't give up!
thank you for being my friend for this 4 years, i enjoyed it.. and i will still be your friend, but no longer and ever will be your best friend. Believe me, i have lost faith in you, i didn't know anymore the word you told me was a lie or truth but i don't care! they just seems don't matter to me anymore. 
whatever future hold it doesn't change the fact that i once have you as my best friend, thank you..
klarasophia klarasophia
13-15, F
2 Responses Feb 3, 2013

best friends are the one that argue and fight because you will always forgive each other for it is only those that are close to us that hurt us the most.

If you friendship means anything then please dont let that person go for i did and 20 years on I am regreating it.
For now we can never be friends.

I still think of him and now full of regret of not being their I hope he is content and happy R.I.P MATE

i'm sorry to hear about your friend and i do really hope he forgive your mistake and know how lucky he was to have a friend like you... may his soul rest in peace..

and thanks for your advice.. to tell you the truth, i really still want to be her friend, her best friend... but maybe, i'm just not good enough as her friend, and believe it or not it took me 2 years to realise that hhahahha

*hugs* whoever she is, if she can't trust you, she doesn't deserve to be your bestfriend anyway.