Why Do We Stay On Long After the Show Is Over?

I know this is not the way I want to live. I know that if I take action, I can move towards my better life. Yet, something always holds me back. Fear? I think fear is a major contributing factor...

I'm scared, terrified about the uncertainty that will follow my decisions and actions. But that's not all. I can't gather the guts to hurt the people who will invariably get hurt if I do try to improve my life. And so I feel stuck - like in quicksand... only, I'm not going anywhere... not able to free myself, yet not completely down... I'm in limbo - stuck for eternity where I don't want to be. Part of what holds me back is the knowledge that people in worse situations continue to exist in their own zombie-like states - trying to pretend that the horrible aspects of their life don't exist... So I think, "If they can continue to exist in mini-hells, what right do I have to try and free myself of my less horrible hell?" That is one of the stronger influences that holds me back... :(
skylightangel skylightangel
31-35, F
7 Responses Dec 6, 2006

I understand how you feel. I also know that there are people holding on to their own hell. However, I also know that there are people living a limitless life. And I want to be part of the latter. I refuse my hell but can't move on. If you want to share, feel free to message me.

If Anyone has a problem like this, please contact me, I know I can help you

Change unnerves man. Yet we change constantly. We gain knowledge, we get jobs, we grow, we wither.<br />
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Change also needs time. Create a plan of how to get to where you want to be. Take one step, then be patient. You will get there.<br />
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Fearing change should and can not stop change.

A lot of it is fear of the unknown and a lot I would put down to an unhealthy habit - we know something is bad for us but we can't quite bring ourselves to let go.

Drowning butterfly from a child whose parents stayed together for them only LEAVE NOW it will only have a negative impact on the children to have an unhappy mother. Children are extemely sensitive and you won't be the best mom you can be if you are unhappy! I beg like I used to beg my own mother LEAVE! As for the original comment the same applies for the people around you to be happy you must be happy.

I'm pretty much in the same boat - except I have ventured out and it wasn't fun...........so do I do it again to help me find the happiness that I am seeking?? Or do I stay here where I am not happy???? My 2 children are involved.

You have EVERY right! it's YOUR life....it belongs to no one else....just as no one else's belongs to you. Everyone else in your life with you is making choices, just like you are. I believe in self-sacrifice...I could be accused of valuing other peoples' happiness more than my own but, no one notices if I make these sacrafices for them.....so, NO ONE winds up "happy." (If you're involved with someone, do you think they would really want you to stay if they knew you really didn't want to be there?) Your life is based on a lie. It doesn't matter HOW much misery you "take" just to perpetuate the situation for everyone else.....Your whole existence is in danger of becoming a lie. That's why you want to make a change.....cuz your inner self is crying out: "Stop it! You're KILLING me!!"