What Am I Doing to Make My Life Better?

I think one very primary reason for our lives stagnating - or not getting better - is that we are probably not using our courage to make tough decisions. I mean, now look at me. The answer was as clear to me as daylight - get away from this guy (husband) - he is ruining your life. But why was I still living with him? Simply because he threatened to separate the children, or worse - take away both. What he used to gain power over me was fear. I wonder - if we let go of fear - how powerful we would become. Of course - I knew that there was a chance that he would not get custody of either kid (if we took the big step and did separate) - but the fear of "what if..." is what kept me living with him. What if he did get custody of one kid? When he could bully and abuse me - an adult - how much worse would he be with a child who was more helpless than me? How traumatic would it be for my child to live with this man - with no one else to turn to?
I do believe that fear is a very strong factor in holding us back. It is interesting to think what we would have to give up in order to let go of fear. In my case, it would mean thinking, "too bad if my child has to live with his father... I still have to take a chance..." but I didn't have the guts to think like that...
Think about it - the more we let fear into our lives, the less "better" our lives are!
skylightangel skylightangel
31-35, F
2 Responses Aug 15, 2007

Fear can stop you from making important decisions, but it can also sharpen your focus. You have very serious grounds for your fear. Your first priority must be to protect your child, whatever that entails.

The same reason that you do not want to live with you husband, and do not want you child to live with your husband, are the same reasons your husband will not get custody. I wish the best for you.