I Want Someone Who Loves Me For What I Am!

First of all, this is not ment to ***** and whine about my situation, I just need to share this with someone and hopefully get some advice. For some stupid reason, I never get anyone to like me. I liked this guy about a year ago, and told my best friend (who also happened to be his best friend) about it. I told her to ask him what he thought about me, and what he saw me like. Turned out he only liked me as a friend. Then, I fell for another guy, and the day I was about to say something about my feelings, he tells me he has a crush on a friend. We kept on talking and we get along fine now, but he only sees me as his friend. Now I like another guy (he's an ex-classmate, and liked me when we were in elementary) and he doesn't seem to like me either. The only boyfriend I've had (and this is the first time I've said the truth about him) was 18 (I was 13) and he was UGLY, immature, and he ended up cheating on me with my best friend because I dumped him. He manipulated me, controlled my actions, and pretty much managed my life. It's marked me very badly, and I haven't kissed anyone since, or even hugged a guy (not even a friend) since him. It has been very hard to build up my selfesteem again, and even though I've lost some weigh, and look at myself differently now, I still can't manage to get a boyfriend. I might be a little different (I don't believe in god, i see things in a different way, and basicaly don't do the things normal people do) but I still want love...really. Sorry if my grammar is wrong. Thanks for listening.
Occidentallis Occidentallis
18-21, F
2 Responses Feb 28, 2009

.. first love yourself and improve on your life and good things will happen. maybe a change in your lifestyle will liven things up in the love department..

You'll find that certain someone at some point. Don't give up :]