I Guess Im Just Not Ready...

I am not afraid to say that i have never had a boyfriend! I am proud... well not really. I think im a bit pretty... i know im not ugly... At my school I have this reputation for being quiet shy, a bit odd and not girlfriend material. I admitt that I was a bit weird when i was younger, I was going through a lot of tough times then and still am... But I'm a really kind person who sees the best in others and when I like or love someone (friend or romantically) I love them with my whole being and am really hurt for a long time when they dump me. So thats probably why I don't open up about myself. Because whenever I do it always, and I mean always, ends with them leaving me, alone by myself. And I can never understand what I did wrong or what I said, so I blame myself and close myself off. But now recently I've learnt to love myself because truthfully, you can not love others until you love yourself. 

I understand I hurt and will be hurt by others in the future, but I remind myself, without the bad times we can't really appreicate the good times, and without sadness there is no true happiness.

So I'll just wait even though I feel really alone, because if I just go for anyone, I won't find the one who loves me for me and loves me with his whole being like i will love him.

Although it hurts that no one has taken interest in me, I will continue to wait and make it known that i am interested in a relationship... 

girlinbackground girlinbackground
18-21, F
6 Responses Mar 3, 2009

dont worry your not alone :)<br />
i feel the same <br />
and i have never had a boyfriend either

Aww, it's good you're waiting for the right person and not just going after anyone like some people do. Good on you!

i completely understand where you're coming from. i am going thru the same thing. it gets lonely being by yourself for sooo long while everybody else hooks up. but i know it is better to be alone than to be with someone who will abuse you.

thanks for your comments i truly appreciate it (lol seadragon but i doubt you resemble a frog)

To win you have to be prepared to fail.

Personally I think that the fact you've not had a bf doesn't matter you'll meet someone some day and you will atract the kind of person who wants you for who you are and not comments from someone else. My bf said that men look at girls in 2 ways gf material and a 1 off experience you appear to be in the 1st catogary and my experience suggests you won't be kissing too many frogs before you find the right one.