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So Scared

I want a divorce, But I am so scared to go on my own! I have an expensive lifestyle for the money I make! My husband and I barely make it by together! What makes me think I can do it alone? And they are not things I can get rid of! My car-400 and all my credit cards which I have now cut up! Any suggestions?
CandieJoy CandieJoy 21-25, F 6 Responses Dec 28, 2007

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I agree. I know how scary it is, but it comes to a point where you just gotta jump. Money is tight for everyone, and it may hurt your credit a bit if you miss a payment or two, however living in an unhappy situation is NOT good for you, and it will only get worse unfortunately. It is a big decision, one that you've obviously thought through -- and you've tried to make a go of it. Divorce does not make you a failure, but if you stay in a loveless marriage, you'll be doomed... unhappy and you deserve better.<br />
Just sit down with a friend of family member you trust, go through your finances... there has GOT to be something you can reduce/get rid of. Some credit card companies will allow you to pay them off a lower amount to get rid of the account, you may be able to postpone a car payment (where they push it to the end of the loan) things like that. Do whatever you can, don't let money keep you there.<br />
Good luck,<br />
Pamela<br />
http://document-do-it-yourself-service.com/

I am staying in my marriage for the children... If you have an other option get out! You only have one life, live it to the fullest.

I have to ask, is it worth staying in the marriage merely to pay the bills? If you are civil, then the two of you may be able to come to an arrangement that allows you to live together for convenience, yet do your own thing.<br />
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I don't know how well that will work, however.<br />
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If you are adamant that you want out, then you need to get yourself together. You cannot live the champagne life on a beer bottle budget. With that said, you need to figure out what expenses are mandatory and work your way up.<br />
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It can be done, but you have to be prepared.

Not sure what you mean by "expensive lifestyle". According to your posts, you have two children. Are you living beyond your means? If so, educate yourself about financial reality. Information is readily available. The lifestyle shown on the Television is bullsh!t; it ain't even real. <br />
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You better examine carefully the reasons you are physically repulsed by your husband. Genuine Love? Is that a brand name of something you saw on TeeVee? You sound very young and naive, if you can forgive me for saying so. Relationships aren't magic. If you want a dose of reality, go over to the "Sexless Marriage" group and read some of the stories there. Any issues you have, you'll take with you if you leave, which changes what?

Yeah! I am sure! I just want to get out before I feel I am stuck there too long! I don't think it is fair to him, that I am not in love with him! What are either of us gaining! I was close to divorce once last year, and decided like hell to make it work! But its not! I know it will be hard! I am just scared! Its a life altering decision! And I would stick around to spite the trouble, But I would like to find Genuine love one day!

dont let finances hinder you....all the money in the world cannot buy happiness...<br />
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are you sure you are ready to divorce emotionally is my concern. Trust me on this...getting a divorce is often harder than staying married.