Some Days I Do

Some days I don't.  The "do" days are becoming more common.  It seems that we have drifted apart and can't find anything that can bring us back together.  I'm holding on because I don't want to be a statistic.
snugglebunny156 snugglebunny156
31-35, F
6 Responses Feb 16, 2008

I spent almost 30 yrs married and for the most part, unhappy. The saying goes 'if Mom ain't happy no one is', a true statement. Not all bad but too much sadness.<br />
Please consider talking with a clergy person or therapist, but do something.<br />
Time flies when you're not having fun. :)

I realize im several years behind you, but it has happened to me too. Ive reached apathy stage and even though he is trying hard to change his ways i do not respond. It makes me feel bad cause he is trying and im the heartless ***** now. Is it posible to revive your feelings when in this stage? Or is it hopeless?

CBR - we share a lot...I am also at that apethic state in my marriage. Too much trying, not enough in return. It wears you to the point you just don't care anymore. I am there now even though she is trying harder than ever, but it just feels like it is too late. I have no love left in me for her.

what if your partner happens to be a good person who is happy with her life? What if you are the one that wants to be free and try things? My wife is a good partner, mother and friend. On the surface people look at us and say "wow, they are so good together". I've moved countries, states, etc. I have given to my wife to help her build her lifestyle. But in the end, I came to realize that she was not investing more than 10% (on a good day) into our relationship.<br />
<br />
So, I picked up the slack. I tried more romance, take better care of the kids, earn more money, etc. After much counseling, I've come to the conclusion that it's easier to not change her to be more "in to me" it's easier to just be "less in to her". <br />
<br />
It's worked: I don't feel angry all the time any more. But now, I can't be bothered to be with her. I try to rekindle it, but I am Apathetic.<br />
<br />
What to do?

I hope it works out for you. Maybe someday I will have the same courage.

My wife and I have drifted apart; and last night we decided to split-up. We started off with a very good relationship with a few bad moments. That evolved into a bad relationship with a few good moments. The fear of the unknown and that statistic issue (and children) definitely held me back from ending it earlier.