Less Than A Month Has Passed

since I moved out and I know I want a divorce. I wish it were over already. I still have some things left at the house. Me and my STBX had dinner one time, he was barely able to keep it together when I told him I knew I had made the right decision for me when I moved out. I have an appointment with an attorney this Tuesday. He did not want me to move out, I can't take it. Since I moved out, every one is telling me how much better I look (did I look that bad?) I don't even know what to do next. My STBX gets so emotional every time I try to talk about us dissolving our marriage. I am trying to be kind, I just want to move on with my life. I hope he is able to let me go. I had a consultation with one attorney, so I know I can get a divorce, even if he doesn't, it will just take longer and be more expensive. When I left, I felt pretty calm. Now that I am not swimming in the situation, I am starting to get resentful again, I feel as if I just wasted the past eight years of my life. I wish I would have seen the red flags and wish we had never gotten married. Now I am 38, and have to start over. Can't go back, can only keep moving forward. Just trying to not get too discouraged.