It happened last night.

She got angry at me for something unrelated to the heavy topic I wanted to discuss. She threatened me... again. This time I called her out. She tried to change her tune. I told her that she, nor I are happy and I do not see that atmosphere changing. I was fairly well prepared for the conversation from all that I have read and written.

Everything that I expected; happened. A measure of comfort lies in predictability. I was surprised that I knew how much was going to happen. I was airily calm. I gained confidence as we talked. She cried. I can't. It may be from the medication I am on. My lack of emotion does not mirror the sadness and pain I feel.

For me, it went as well as expected. I think that my calmness eased her overly emotional response. I am planning to file on Monday.
Fluxification Fluxification
41-45, M
2 Responses Aug 22, 2014

Good luck

Thanks, so far, its horrible.

Im about to go through a divorce. Knowing my husband hes going to make it ruff. If you need to vent, vent away.:-)

I am sorry to hear that. How will he make it rough?

My wife completely, absolutely does not want this. Part of me doesn't either, but for years, I have never been happy. I have burned so much energy while trying to be whatever it is I am supposed to be in this abrasive relationship. It just doesn't feel right. I really cannot say anything bad about her. She is attractive, compassionate, and happy. However, in my mind, when I describe the person I want to be with, my wife does not have those traits I imagine.

With my boys i have to fear he will take them on a reservation. They are native american and im not. So if he does it could take yrs to fight and get them back. So he throughs that up. He knows my boys are my whole world. And talking to a laywer its very true to what his threat is. So i have to go behind his back and file. If i file through the state first its a state matter. If he runs it becomes a federal matter. Hes not want i want in a man. And its crazy im not asking for much but to be a father to his boys and help me take care of them. Right now im on my way to my oldest football game and my dads going with me instead of his dad. I have spent to many yrs unhappy and its my turn to be happy.

I am in the exactly the same boat as you with my wife...your words could easily have been mine. I just don't know how to do it because my kids are in school right now and she would have to move back to the mainland. We are in Hawaii due to the military. I love my kids and that makes it harder but I deserve to be happy too, and she is not the right person for me. Not sure if she ever was, we married young, 22. I feel like I grew and she didn't. Or at least we grew apart. She was also very controlling and I went with the flow. It wasn't until someone said something to me and I started reading about it that I learned how bad our relationship really was. She is making me go to counseling but my hearts not in it.

2 More Responses

Divorce usually brings more happiness than marriage. Especially for the partner who initiates it :-)

I hope so. She is making it very difficult.