I Have a Legal Family, But They Aren't a Family.

My family is distant and superficial.  There is no real connection. I don't even know how to have a conversation with them.  I want a real family. In twenty years of knowing these people that I legally call my "family",  there is still no connection.  They tore me down, and sought to control, expected to be respected, but not once gave respect in return.  I was never good enough, and I could not trust them with anything.  I was not allowed to be unhappy. I was not allowed to fail at anything. I can honestly say that they made me a brilliant liar and actress.  So I want a family. that is my heart's desire.

constantcalculation constantcalculation
18-21, F
5 Responses Mar 25, 2009

Hello! I really appreciate how you are feeling. To ache for belonging and not finding it is truly an agony. I hope you have found a friend or more that you can call family and to whom you can feel safe and belonging. I shared a similar pain to yours as I have had a bad/non existing relationship with my biological father and have always wanted to experience a healthy father-daughter relationship. In my quest I came across so many people hurting either for never having kids or parents or siblings or friends so I thought of making a facebook page where people looking for family bonds outside their biological families can connect, talk and maybe some will find what they were looking for in one another! Please check it out. It is still brand new. https://www.facebook.com/Universal-Dream-Family-327515930792241/

Looks like we are on the same ship. I too, have a legal family, but then, my family doesn't seem to exsist anywhere anytime soon. The **** thing is that the "family" I am having now, is no where near a real family. We don't talk to each other, we don't understand each other, and we fight every time we talk. In fact, the only thing that is keeping me in the house is the fact that I am just 15 and can't earn a living yet. And my brother too, winning all my parents love with that freaking quiet personality of his. I want to love them, but a chance was never given to me. All I want now, is just a family, just like you. But I gave up on the Parents-Child family type. What I want now is a family of me, the girl I love and kids. I really want to protect someone, to be protected by them, and I want to raise kids too. The thing is, the girl that I loved... doesn't love me thanks to my not-so-handsome appearance. So, I guess, maybe I have to give up on this one too. Damn!

I believe that there is a person for everybody on the planet.

I am so sorry after reading your words. I too want a family. I actually typed that phrase into Google and that is how I ended up here. Your words sounded so much like my own. But then I saw your age and I was truly sad for you. It is so hard when you look around at other people who have families and wonder what it would be like. I wish I had caring parents/family. So often in life I have seen into other people's lives who have family & just think they should be so grateful. You received some great advice about starting your own family & becomming 'family' with your significant other's family. I can tell you that I have started my own family & nothing in this world has ever given me more pleasure than my children. But, I've always longed for a 'family' of my own still. A mother to care about & worry over me, a father to watch out for & to protect, a sister to share everything with. Just a real family. When I see other people with their families, I just wonder what it would be like, dinner with Grandma, shopping with Mom, hanging out with Sis. I wish you nothing but the best. I think the advice about having real, true solid friends is such good advice. If you have some, hold them close. If you need one, I would be happy to be one. Everyone needs a friend, right? May you find what you are looking for.

ha, yea they did teach me something, leaf. : ) <br />
<br />
Jeri, I am hoping to get closer to the Christian fellowship i am getting involved in on campus. Maybe they'll be reliable.

This is a really sad situation. All I can say is, until you fall in love and start your own family, and hopefully become part of your significant other's family, what you need is friends. Good, solid, reliable friends. The one's who can are honest, and would do anything for you. Make them your family.