I Need a Freaky Friend

 I'm self employed, well educated, strong personality athletic and good looking, I'm on my 30's and all my friends talk very high about me, but for some reason I'm totally obsessed with the guy I'm dating because he is the only man who has never said "you are beautiful". I don't want to sound boring, this is just and example for you lovely freaky friends to see it: I walk into a room and everyone stares at me with appreciating eyes. My boyfriend? I can walk on lyngerie in front of him, he doesn't even throw me a flirty eye. I even started to take pole dancing classes to call his attention. He doesn't give a f...
Once I ask him, do you think I'm pretty, he said "I wouldn't be with you if you wouldn't" Stab right on my selfsteem, and I doing it to my self for asking. Now, this is freaky? Am I a freak?, a woman like me, cause I know who I am is looking for the approval of an insensitive *******. I stay there letting him humilliate me. 
I just want a man who wants me badly (sexually), I have a lot of fantasies I don't see me achieving with him, he just don't want to do them... and I'm obsessed with this man who act s so cold in bed.

Bambola Bambola
31-35, F
27 Responses Jul 22, 2009

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can I ask are you really obsessed with him or are you obsessed with changing him? or proving to him that you are sexy? the thing is that it seems to me that this is a d!ckhead and if you are not getting the type of sex and or the surpport that you need and seem to crave you already know (by posting on just for a start) that you should not be with him!..... let ask something else would you having someone online to talk to about all your fantasies and desires be enough for you to stay with this guy or would end up really wanting to meet the online guy?

so glad to hear you escaped and found yourself again. It's so hard, i totally understand and sooooo have the same problems.<br />
I dont want to be needed, if someone needs you it sounds like there'll break and fall apart on there own, but i do so very much NEED to be wanted, lusted after, craved and appreciated. <br />
I cant help it, my sex drive and my lust for life coupled with actually being in love with someone just compounds the issue and makes me worse. I just want to meet some one that feels that compounding the issue would make it better.<br />
I like to be arouse and i like to arouse and only really feel happy when im naked and on touch with a partner and if that cant happen then emails and txts just to keep that connection going.<br />
I love who i am and don't want to apologise for it, but when you've never met anyone who can keep up, and every relationship only gets to the 6 month mark, i start feeling a little like a freak and that ill never get the understanding i feel i need.<br />
I can live with someone with a lower drive, i just need to feel understood and for it not to be a problem.<br />
I wonder if any of this sounds familiar or weather i have just got it too bad and need to see a shrink lol.

I'll be that man baby. You are a HOTTIE and I want to feel your sizzle!!

Sounds like you got a lot of good advise! But, not exactly what you asked for. You asked for a freaky friend.It's been my experience that when women have a problem,they are just venting.They don't want you to solve their problems for them.They just need someone to listen to them,while they have enough time to figure out the best way to handle the situation.<br />
So, I'm your new freaky friend.We can talk on line through EP If you add me as your friend.But, my dear I am engaged to a wonderful woman. That's as far as i can try to help.I understand your problem. TRUST ME!!!! I've been there many times.

maybe the fact that he isnt paying to much attention is the problem?? my dad used ot have a saying and he was a greta ladies man, 'treat em mean and keep em keen' lol kinda out of place in this day ot the liberated woman but we always want what we cant have, Id suspect this guy knows it .. however the sexual side of things to me just suggests he isnt as open minded as you .. or hes having fun elswhere, and everyone needs to live out their fantasies hun, lifes much to short .. ;)

i would not treat you that way but i would love to get my freak on with you so let me know if you want my IM and i will give it to you

Samantha, <br />
<br />
Thanks for your advice sweetie. I already walked out of that relationship. It was not easy, actually it was not pleasant at all. I'm more happy now. <br />
Hugs<br />

You have tried everything, he is just not interested in you. The lust has worn off and it is time to say good by find another man that is inspired by you, and who likes your look. If the desire is not there then there is no hope. Love Samantha

I think your on the right track u need a freaky friend if you want to feel wanted that way just let me know if you ever want to chat

Bam sounds as if he may be the freak. And he does not even see it. I Always have dreams of being with a sexy woman as yourself. Good luck in your endeavors...

Hmm, in my opinion you deserve much more attention! There aren't much women like you! Ready for their man al the time. He just don't know what a great girl you are!

Ya I know what you mean. And It doesn't even get any better. Wish I had met someone like you 15 years ago

We all need someone to share and talk to once in awhile. If your adventurous and want to visit please e-mail me. Who knows....we may hit it off and become really neat friends. We can both vent and share. Thanks for your stories. Read some of mine. Monty. hanznmypanz @yahoo.

i am in the same boat kind of. i love my girlfriend, and sometimes she's super freaky kinky fun, then sometimes she's not interested in sex at all. i am always interested. i know i don't NEED sex all the time. i always have fun with whatever we do, I just seem to always want to explore fun kinky playtime and she doesn't.

Quite frankly he's a *****. Trust me I should kno. I am overweight ..k well when I began the BL in town last yr he was all over me likes flies on ****. Saying all I new he already wanted and felt. They won't change. It s been 6 months weve been apart. I kno he loves me as I do him. But it's past time for him to crack that shell he's buried himself in. It sucks bc he treats all others right but not me..****. It's basically how much u can endure. I dont mean to b rude - just being blantly honest. Im sorry if that hurts but its the truth. I wish u the best of luck getting what u need & deserve. Hugs

hth13,<br />
<br />
you just made me laugh! "sex-slave" Thanks for the feedback babe.

I have a feeling that he's not into you. Sorry if this is hurting your feeling but I was once in a relationship like that and I know you deserve better. Take a step and see if he cares. If he doesn't, that's your sign.

Hello <br />
It sounds like he keeps you as a trophy and does not know what to do with it<br />
If your are having sex troubles now watch out it only gets worst. <br />
Even when things are good at the start. As years go on and things start changing down the road it just gets harder to deal with.<br />
The wife was shy at first then started to get in to it then menopause jump in then out the window the sex life went.<br />
I think when it come to sex you either got it or you don't and for a man not wanting to go farther you got a problem already.<br />
God luck in your search don't settle for less or something you have change or work on in the begining cause it only gets harder.<br />

Aloha Bambola,<br />
<br />
Your guy is intimidated by your beauty. I think he feels inadequate compared to you. He probably knows he's a really good catch (in other respects) but when it comes to plain sexuality, I think he's conservative compared to you.<br />
<br />
Yes you are a freak -- which is a really great thing. He's an idiot for not realizing and enjoying what he's got. I'm just trying to give my honest opinion. Unfortunately, the only way I think he responds to his insecurities is not to acknowledge those great qualities about you -- he's hoping if he ignores the problem it won't be a problem.<br />
<br />
There are alot of good advice here on this thread. Another approach might be the completely honest approach. For example, instead of asking him what he thinks (because he's going to try to ignore his problem), you could tell him that you want him to be more sexual with you (e.g. touch you, hug you, man-handle you, kiss you) and show you physically how he feels about you. And you should tell him that if he doesn't get over his insecurities and start doing these things, he'll lose you. <br />
<br />
This is a part of who you are and he needs to first, understand it, then learn to respond to it. Otherwise he's ignoring your needs.<br />
<br />
Yes he has needs to, but tell him to man-up and grow-up and pay attention to his woman! God knows you are trying to get his attention.<br />
<br />
Hope this helps.

He's playing you.<br />
You want to see how he really feels?<br />
You start acting cold to him. Don't ask or look for his approval. <br />
<br />
Draw away from him and you'll see his true colors. He'll pursue you with a need that you can't ignore.<br />
We all want what we can't have and once we get it, we're bored with it or we don't value it as much since we were able to get it, it must not be that special.

Start with loving yourself first - then others will love you as you love yourself. <br />
<br />
I have so many friends that I know of who don't like themselves, their bodies, their hair, etc.... however, how do you expect to attract someone if you don't like you?<br />
<br />
Start with getting to know you - what you like, dislike, etc. Keep a list if you want, or a journal - I think you will be surprised at what you find out about yourself and your real needs. <br />
<br />
Your true satisfaction will come once you start to love you. <br />
<br />
I know - because I had to stop with all the hate on myself and start to love me for all of my unique attributes and you should too... good luck.. but, don't waste your time in trying to make someone change. It will not work - I'm speaking from experience here. If you are not happy with him, dump him, but, don't get wrapped up with trying to please him and you don't please yourself.

Wow that is confusing... R u sure he isn't gay? Maybe he was abused as a child and he has problems getting in touch with his sexual side. Or maybe he is uncomfortable with how sexual and confident you are so he purposely tries to bring down your self esteem in<br />
the one place he knows he can.. the bedroom. I had a bf who tried to do that to me, it was terrible and I had to get out of that relationship. But your guy sounds like a good person and I'm sure he is sexually attracted to you. Maybe you should just have a serious conversation with him about sex.. tell him what you want to try and ask him what he likes. You might just have two very different sexual styles and if thats the case... this relationship may not work out because sex and sexual intimacy obviously mean alot to you. And it doesn't seem to mean very much to him. But from my experience talking about these things usually helps, good luck either way....

hi shyguy, <br />
<br />
it is not phase, I always have had this "drive"...<br />
I might lose him, that's right, what I don't know is when... like I said I'm quite obsessive about this, cause I want him but I don't feel he wants me with the same intensity. I'm sure he loves me but, I guess he is the type of man that separates "love" from "lust"... "make love in the same position/nothing crazy/lights shut/no dirty talking" that's the way he wants to be with me. I, on the other hand, like lyngerie, lights on, dirty talk, bit of bondage... I don't see why you can't have lusty, reckless wild sex with your partner... for him that's ****. He made it clear, he told me: "having sex with you is like doing ****" he has been avoiding sex for a month now, but he still talks about marriage. I don't understand.

is this " need" somthing new,or have you always been this way.because if it is only aphase your going throughi would hate to see you lose agood man....

Thank you coolreji!<br />
<br />
I'm really trying not to think too much about my sexuality , but sometimes, I can't deal with my sexual needs. I even do high contact sports such as Muay Thai to release all that sexual energy by doing something else. Sometimes it works and I go home all relaxed just wanting to go to sleep but sometimes it doesn't. <br />
<br />
Thanks for the feedback!

good one if find its not working dont pay attaition on sexuality......i think you are thinking too much about it & tring too hard .. just forget for some days(a day or two max) I am sure you will get what you want....... <br />
<br />
its me coolreji............