My Boyfriend Is Going Away

I've been with my boyfriend 10 months and I love him. Due to our schedules we see each other 1-2 days a week but talk on the phone every day. We haven't seen each in a month but he blamed that on having to work 7 days a week, he works construction so he works a lot when he can. 3 days ago he told me he violated his probation for a DUI (which I knew about) and would be going to rehab for 6 months, instead of facing jail time. He knew for a month this could happen but never told me because he was hoping it would go away. He tells me tonight he goes to rehab Friday and can't call me for 3 weeks. I became upset because I've only had 3 day to process he will be gone for 6 months,(he told me I would be able to visit in a few week but phone calls would allowed), but now we'll have no contact at all for almost a month. He doesn't understand why I'm so upset. He said he has enough to deal with and doesn't need to deal with my attitude. I should add he has just gotten over 3 months of chemo for a relapse of cancer and he wouldn't allow me to be involved with his treatment. He says he pushes me away because he's to proud to take my help and doesn't know how to let me in. I'm scared I'll wait for him until he completes rehab and he'll either not want me at all or still push me away. I'm tore between standing by the person I love and looking like a fool if he decides he doesn't want me to be part of his treatment. I would talk to people close to me about this but I don't want them judging my boyfriend.
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1 Response Oct 27, 2010

ok if these are the only instances he is pushing you away, maybe you need to understand where he is coming from. going through chemo and then now this is hard for a person to deal with emotionally, and you need to be there for him without crowing his space. when he is pushing you away, you can't take that personally, you need to understand that that is not about you, it is about what he is going through in his own life right now. you should not now get upset with him and make things more difficult. that is hardly support. if you do that and then he continues to push you away, i would not blame him. don't make this about you, this is about him. <br />
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if he has always behaved badly towards you, not making an effort to keep contact and meet up etc., then you should wash your hands off of him. if this just started recently when his problems started, then be supportive and hope for the best