I've Just Lost My Best Friend.

My name is Fibo, I am 24 years of age, Filipino. Just lost my best friend for couple of hours now, we actually had a fight last night. 3 months ago, we had our biggest fight, the issue here is that I am bossy, I always command him the things that he must do for over a year, he always heed my advices. That night, February 05, 2012. He was like making fun of a b1tch's pictures, I told him that if you don't like this girl just leave her alone, btw he's 26 years old now. I demanded him to stop those non sense, this triggered something, something that he always wanted to burst out. He told me that, I don't like him for the way he is, that I treated him as my personal puppet, that I didn't accept him for who he is. He blocked me on his facebook, I can't reach him for like the whole month. That was a new experience for me for I always talk to him every single day and I've thought I can never fix this, I actually lost hope then there was an opening. He unblocked me after a month. I can able to send him messages over facebook, good start. It was never easy actually, I was talking to a monster, the monster that I never knew, he has so many grudges on me, he hated me for a long time. For two months I have talked to this monster, he actually gave me a chance to fix things up, he tested me, he gave me two tests. First, he asked for a 100 reasons why we need to fix our friendship, I passed. Last step was, I needed to ask for one of his friends forgiveness, I had a fight with one of his friends, I just don't like her but I dealt with this lady because she is my best friend's friend, I annoy her and actually got into a fight with her now he wanted me to ask for her forgiveness, this last task was hard enough for me but I passed for I wanted to get him back, on April 27, 2012. I was successful, I got him back, but things have changed, if you know what I mean, it wasn't like before. Then last night, we had a fight, he blocked me on his facebook again, and I can't reach him. I grow tired of this sh1t, I am starting to convince myself that there's nothing more that I can do but it still hurts. I think I've ruined it. Is this meant to happen? I want to accept the fact that I can never get him back but atleast we have tried, eh? I need someone to talk to right now. This will be hard enough for me, he was my best friend.
fibz07 fibz07
22-25, M
2 Responses May 6, 2012

Isabelle really did say it best. Life is too short for immature game playing. Agree there seemed to exist a mutual lack of respect. A friend, a true friend, would never ask u to prove your worthiness with the passing of tests. In reading your story I got the feeling his sudden and unexpected unblocking from Facebook was a ploy to lure u back in for the sole purpose of then hurting u as he felt he had been hurt. U said it wasn't the same and that he harbors a lot of resentment towards u. So this out of the blue opening coupled with a challenge to prove yourself, all the while treating u badly, feels awfully suspicious. I don't believe it was ever meant as a 2nd chance. He sounds deeply hurt, and likely even rejected by u, so maybe this was his way to make u feel as he felt for probably a very long time. He asked u to accept him as he is, but admittedly, u forced your opinions on him. Even u said he's an adult, and agree with his behavior or not, people do not like to be told what to do. U were his friend, not his parent. U mentioned his taking your advice as the norm in your friendship (your word was bossed him) and then were surprised when he rebelled. Maybe he followed your directions because he respected u, maybe thought u knew better than he, or smarter than he. Whatever the reason, its clear that along the way he lost his self-respect, grew tired of being bossed around, and lost respect for you as well. Sadly, I agree with your feeling the friendship is beyond repair. However; it sounds as if it was never a balanced or healthy relationship to begin with, so its likely for the best on both sides. People move in and out of our lives constantly. Each person will yield various contributions to your life, all special in their own way. Even the negative people and experiences we encounter have their purpose and lessons. So chalk this up as a lesson learned. Accept people as they are, flaws and all, for each is a gift. Everyone can teach u something. Just be mindful to keep an open heart, accept without judgment, and allow them to be who they are. U seem like a kind and genuine caring soul, who wanted to help his friend be and do his best, but just went about it a bit strongly and in the wrong way. Doesn't make u bad, we make mistakes in order to learn. Of course you'll have more friends and eventually another best friend. But next time you'll be more mindful of the other and keep the friendship on equal terms. As for your old friend, wish him well in your heart, remember him fondly and move on. Best wishes.

I'm really sorry no one responded to you. I would have but I just read it.<br />
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Really doesn't sound like a good healthy relationship to me. You have to really sit down and look at all the good, then look at all the bad. Then think about it. Is it worth it or should you move on.<br />
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Any relationship is about RESPECT. Seriously, this guy doesn't feel like you respect him and sounds like you feel the same. So really there's your answer.<br />
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Life's too short for games. Going back and forth, fighting, getting each other back, totally NOT worth it! There are plenty of people out there that would understand you better, I'm sure.<br />
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Just a thought for you:)

To be honest, little by little I'm starting to move on, someone told me that he keeps on posting on his Facebook stuffs about me, negative things like I am a bitter person about what happened, it is a waste, that's all I can say right now but it still hurts for I created a real connection with him, a real friend connection, he taught me how a real friend works. It was friendship. ..but I have to move on, Thank you Isabel you just gave me the best advice ever, I open up with some of my friends, but I think they just can't understand my situation. I am still young, I will meet a lot of new people that will treat me as their friend.

Yes you will! Trust me, I feel your pain but don't get stuck in it.

Let me know how you're doing from time to time or if you feel like you need someone to listen, I'm a good listener:).
Isabelle