Enough Is EnoughOK. That's it !!!
I am saying enough !!! Now is the time to make things straight. I am fed up with this entire EP friendship staff. I will not tolerate this any longer, I am serious, not kidding !! I will, from now on, care only about myself like everybody here. I have enough of pain, going down and insults. Now it is time for me and only me and I don’t care anymore about anybody. Only ME and Me and ME.
Now in order to accomplish that, I am setting very clear rules about becoming friends. Please read carefully from the beginning to the end. Focus especially to the end of this post. If you don’t understand, read it twice or thrice and please respect my wishes or I will go on hunger strike.
Well do you think it is funny? Like some of the people here want to be completely anonymous but they expect me to pour all my life into them with my deepest secrets and this is fine for them. Why?!! Because they are curious. It is fascinating for them and it turns them on. But in their case they don’t see the point in revealing anything about them. It doesn’t make sense for them to be unanimous . They are comfortable like that. Sure - I understand but what about me? Then after some time when I ask "Hi. Tell me at least from which city are you from", I hear, "No need to tell you that. You maybe will think that we have any chances in the future. But our life's doesn't match. I don’t want you to suffer by giving you any hope." Nice. I feel much better now. Thanks.
Or like in other cases. We become friends. We understand each other so well. Our friendship can last like forever. We can trust each other. We can say anything to each other. We are cool. Then I hear, could you tell me what do you think about my boobies or how do you think I look like? And next I hear but please be honest. Just tell me as it is. I can take any criticism. If you really respect me, you will tell me the truth. OK , I think and I am going with my opinion by trying to be gentle and truthful…And what next. I am receiving silent treatment for a few weeks. And finally when I got the message I see there…"Well, there is not really any need to talk. You don’t like me and you never did…"Then I go What?!!! What is this about?
Sometimes after 5 minutes of conversations, I hear that she wants to marry me and love and trust is what really counts. Yeahhhhhhh. ummmm sounds good. Maybe too fast. But I am listening. After 15 minutes I have money requests. I say, "Ok, I see and I ask but honestly that what can you give me back when I send you money?" Then she goes, "I can send you my naked pictures or show myself and please you on camera." Well, I say. "I have this here already for free. And 80% people are doing this here for free. It will be difficult for you to make some money here. It is a tough market. I will not send you anything." Then she goes wild. "You liar!!! You scammer!!! You tricked me!!!" And I am thinking…."What ?!!! Get real !!!"
There is a group of ladies here who are looking for real love and real relationships. Most of the time, I am explaining them that it is not possible here. From about 200 stories I know only 1 which has a happy ending. The rest of them are complete disasters. And they say,"Yes, yes I know. Honestly I am not looking. I understand Internet is not a place for that." And from that moment there is silence and no more conversations. I am asking myself," Why ? I guess there has to be something wrong with me." Some of the women here really want to help. But after a while you can see that what they really want is help themselves. Usually they are on the crusade too. They want to get rid of all the perverts here and bring sex to the place where it really should be. But they like to throw a kiss or hug or love word here and there. Why ? Because they say that it is innocent. It has nothing to do with lust. And they feel like to do that. Well if you do that, I believe you are looking for some kind of attention and interaction. If not you are not doing it. You can send as well as message - "Hi. I hope you have a great day." And this will be quite a proper way to talk to the stranger if you are that holy. By the end of the day, I don’t mind. You think that way. You want to send me those childish pictures with kiss or whatever. I respect that. But if you are going with hate to this or that or start to give personal advises, it can get annoying for sure. Anyway what kind of sex you have on net. First for sure is safe which is very important. And there is no intercourse. Just maybe ************. Second most of the people **********. It does not make a big difference to me if you do watching **** at home or just imagining things and **********. Then you can do it here as well or via chatting or skyping. If you are shy, or think it is so called mental cheating on your partner - just don't do it. You can ********** and imagine your partner but I am not sure if it is always the case. You can as well be completely satisfied with your partner and don’t ********** at all. Or there are many other variations. The point is - if you don’t like it, you don’t do it but don’t hate those who do it or give them cheep speeches. Anyway, avoiding perverts is like avoiding junk mail. You won't stop them. But just by your angry behavior, you make it worse. It is my opinion. But I am sure, we will never agree with those pervert fighters.
I met few such individuals too who claim that my stories are fake and pieces of crap. I tried to defend myself saying that, "My stories most of the time are made up, but I build them from my real experiences and observations of life. All what is in my stories has happened to me otherwise, I could not write something what I don’t know. But one story comes to life because of many stories which I went through. Story itself, in many times is fiction but what my characters feel or say about some of the particular situations have really happened to me." Then I hear, I am complete falsification and EP is a place for real life stories and from that moment onwards there is no more conversation at all. Hm. Go figure.
And there is a group of ladies who claim to be decent, conservative and all about God. But at the end of the day they want just one thing. If you know what I think, it is completely fine with me. If I can make it happen, it is just my pleasure. Well they want me to *** too. It completes them. It makes them feel close and happy and satisfied. It is quite good with me. But afterwards, when this happen in many times, it becomes very tricky. From that moment, I should watch whom am I adding to my circle and if it is something with improper sexual context that later would become hard. I am a pervert from that moment and dealing with *****. It is just a matter of time when I am blocked. And usually I find that in the least expected moment. Like all was fine this evening. Just "love and I will never leave you" and next day I am blocked. DAFUQ ????????
Of course, there is the issue of chat talk. You are writing the whole chapter there in your chat room and are trying to be interesting and inspiring and share your knowledge as much as possible and in return you will get one or two words. Then you go again and it is the same story. Or you write something there and you have to wait like half an hour for a response. And you are waiting and waiting and you don’t know whether it is over or what. But there are situations when you are talking at the same time to three people. And one of them sounds like suicidal, then you give him all your attention and focus and try to keep in touch with other people as well. Soon others quit on you and you are receiving messages like -You are ignoring me completely. I will not beg for your attention. Ha ... and what can you do about that.
People ask me sometimes what are you doing here all day. Well, I am doing my best. But I am just me, just one and not omniscient.
Many times, I am thinking if anybody wants to really know me like me and how much I can be myself here. So far, I am doing everything to keep conversations going and be kind and understandable to my best. I found some wise words here on somebody's page. It goes like," If you want to be friend to everybody, you are friend to no one." Yes, it is something about that. Still I would love to be friend to everybody. Maybe that is the reason why I feel I have no friends.
Now my rules. Please obey them. I hate my EP life so much so that I want to change it dramatically.
***Rule number one :- If you want to add me, add me.
***Rule number two :- If you don’t want to add me, still add me.
Maybe there is one more rule which I would like to focus on - if you don’t like my point of humor, I can’t help it.
It was pretty good a ride here so far. I can write and share my stories and that is what makes my day. I learn a lot too. I learn the most about how twisted a mind can be - including mine. Which is quite a good thing. Mind in all its forms and shapes. Fascinating!!!