Bi-talk ^_^

I'm a bi female (very bi ^_^)  & as of rite now 2.22.10 i've been w/my b/f for 2 yrs & 3 mo.'s.  sometimes he's ok w/the fact that i'm bi then there are other times he becomes wut looks like "insecure" about it.  when we talk about it i ask him if it would be ok w/him to have a g/f & he'll say "yes", then when i'm making the attempt or casually making an attempt at finding one, he gets all weird with me telling me that i'd have to share her (which is not my choice, it would be hers)  or he changes his mind about & says i cant have a g/f.  i wish he'd stop playing with my emotions like that.  i love him a lot but i have "needs" that he is unable to fufill.  i like the "comfort" of a woman, not necessarily just sexual, but the way girls emotional maturity is more often than not in tune with other girls. dont get me wrong i love my b/f, he plays out the "masculine" role in my life that i love, but theres also that feminine role that i need interaction with as well.  is it like that with all bi's?? and do u end up crushin' on ur friends?  i dont have a lot of bi friends, they are weekend lesbians if u know wut i mean. none that i know of for certain have ever been in relationships with another female, just flings, but thats not wut i want. 

i'll never go behind my b/f's back, i'll never do anything that he'd consider disrespectful on his part. but maybe i DO need to find a lady friend who IS looking for something a bit more "casual" & who is open to having a semi-relationship with both him & me.  but i feel thats asking a lot of that girl & my b/f.  plus the casual part kinda scares me. i trust my b/f i know if there was another person added to our relationship it would exclusively be the 3 of us, but wut about the other person?  would she be ok with just having "relations" with him & i?  just random things that i think about.  its really hard being bi... anyone else think so too??

PandaFaerie PandaFaerie
26-30, F
2 Responses Feb 22, 2010

hey, my names sara,im in the same situation too, only i dont have a bf my kik is bears101, but u could just message me, my age is wrong, gotta chnge that, im a 26-30 year old woman, im 27 look forward to talkin with ya

1st off lemme thank u for stopping by & including ur thoughts ^_^<br />
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i dont think its him "telling me" wut i "can & can't do" but more of me taking his feelings into consideration in relation to how he FEELS about me being w/someone else, cuz thats the way he's looking at it: as someone else, not just a "girl".<br />
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and believe me, in any other situation or past relationship i would have, more or less, been selfish in the fact to just be interested in my own "wants" alone. but i'm in this one for the "long haul" LoL if its within my power my b/f will be the last man to ever touch me intimately as well as emotionally. so maybe wut i'm in need of is a comprimise between him & i.<br />
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but how do i go about taking his feelings into consideration, satisfying my own needs & finding an equal medium in between?<br />
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i put myself into his shoes & on one hand i understand that if i dont have the "tools" to satisfy him then he may need "compansation". but then as him i can also see how jealous i may become about sharing him. whether or not it may be a "insecurity" issue doesnt change the fact when ur feelings are hurt, they're hurt, y'know. and i guess it should be enough for me to sacrifice being with women in order to commit to when i say i love him. but then theres that part of me that wants to fight that logic because of the hot desire to be with women! this is an endless cycle. <br />
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i'm so torn between genuinely wanting to keep from hurting his feelings (becuz it makes me happy knowing he's happy) & being selfish. i guess thats why i'm desparately trying to find a middle ground. <br />
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i mean, i dont wanna sound like a pu$$y feind or anything, but it might be the equivilent to having sex with a sex toy, yes it does the job, but having the real thing is never far from ur mind. he does the job but man.... it would sure be nice to have **** in my mouth LOL (sorry that was 'nasty' LOL)<br />
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any more suggestions?? maybe i need counseling, maybe when they say something is abnormal with LGBT people they are right... sometimes i feel i'm not "right", especially with these types of relationship issues. bleh.