I Let Go Of My Ex-girlfriend And Ready To Find The Other One.

I am new in here. Hope everyone have a good loving life.

First of all I introduce myself, I am a guy from Hong Kong and study in Brisbane(Australia), I try to find a westen girl to be my girl friend but it turn out it's a bit hard. I just think maybe the westen girls are not easy to attached by a asian guy, I have no idea. Some people may not agree with that.

Ok. Now my story. When I was still 16 years old (a bit early love for asian.), I met my ex in the public swimming pool, it was the 1st of Fed,2003. She is the kind like slim, quiet and shy girl with a beautiful face. I met her because I save her from the pool, I am the lifeguard and a swimming coach in that public pool.

After I saved her, she ask my phone number and ask me for a dinner to thanks me. At that time I feel like in heaven and surprise that a girl like that ask my phone number and out to a dinner. Although it just like a thanks gift, I still very happy about it .

Two days later, we go out have a dinner and have a little chat, she is a teacher in the school. (She was 23 years old and yep she is 7 years older than me.) She suddenly ask me why I working rather than study in the school. I said the reason is I feel boring in the school and not really interesting for what they teach in the school. She said she can help me to get back the interest of studying and can help me to get back to school. I don't know why but it seem like she had the magic that make me said "Yes, It would be great." And so I became one of her 'private' student.

She really work hard and help me. Because of her help, it only take two monthes for me to back to school and study again. We were become the best friend during the study time. We talk everything, family, the day, work, everything and hang out most of the weekends.

One day, she suddenly tell me she love me and ask me would I accept her to be my girlfriend. at that time I am become a stone and didn't know how to answer because I didn't understand why such a beautiful girl wil love a fat, lazy boy like me(Yep, I was weighted 120kg at that time but my weight is down to 89kg since I come to Brisbane to study. But I still look fat, specially on my face, I don't know why.). After a few minus, she ask me again and I said a big YES. That day was 12th of May,2003.

We had a great time, bad time, romance time together for 2 years and one day she ask me out and told me that she want to broke up with me and the reason is my future, she want me to go oversea to study and learn more. My heart was not as strong as I thought and it was really hurt!!! That day was the 20th Jan,2005. I went to Brisbane to study and also to heal my heart.

After two years which is in 20th April,2007, I receive a pancel from my ex's parents. I unpack the pancel and there was my ex's daily and two letters, one from my ex and one from her parents. I read the letter from her parents, they told me that my ex was gone because of blood cancer half year after I gone oversea and she want them to send me her daily and letter to me after two years.

I was shocking and can't believe it. I call her parents stright after reading the letter and ask them is the thing is ture. They said it is true and told me to read her letter.

The letter is below (I translate from chinese, may be some grammer is wrong.)

Dear my love,

  It has been a long time since the heart breaking day. I hope you are heal already. I am so sorry that I break up with you because I went to the doctor and have a health check. It discovered a blood cancer and I only have half year life. I don't want you to worry about me and see me die.

And do you remember that one day you told me that you want to study oversea and ask me to go with you? I said when you finish study and have a job,I will go and live with you where ever you want till we dead. And so I broke up with you and told you to go oversea.

Please don't be upset with my death because I am always with you in your heart and look at you in heaven. If you miss me, go to the sea and find a wave which is smile to you. The smile wave is me, you know that I love the sea and willing to become the wave.

And also find another girlfriend and forget about me because the past is not important but the future.

You wonder why I ask my parents to send my daily and this letter to you after two years. It was because I knew you are emotional person and two years time is long enough for you to heal you heart.

At last, I hope you have a great and colourful future and have a new relationship soon, and be good I will always look at you. I also hope we will meet in the heaven after a long,long time, MY LOVE.

26th July, 2005

After I read her letter, I am already crying and whenever I read her letter I was crying.(even now.) I flew back to Hong Kong that night and visit her paents and ask them to bring me to her grave and visit her. When I stood in front of her grave, her face and all the memory of her are flew by on my head and I stood ther for 4 hours and even don't know when her parents gone.

The next day I visit her parents again and I ask that can I make some change on the her grave. Her parents don't want me change her grave at first after I begging them for 3 hours(on my knees outside their door.) They let me change it. The change that I made is only add a few words which are "My wife" and "Husband Troll".

The last two years, I was so down and didn't have any social life, only a stright line life which is Uni, work and home. I am not talk to any friends at all. Until the end of last year, I met an old guy on the beach. (I always go there and look at the sea every weekends.)

What he said was helping me so much which are"Past is past, don't let the past in front of you, life still goes on. That's not means you need to completely forget about her, just put her in your heart and live for yourself. There would be the right for you to do to her not the life that you live now."

And so I start my new life again.These all my story.

A bit long and my english still not really good and still have some grammer mistake, I am sorry.