Real Friends

I was alway the kind of person who only had a few friends because no one liked me for a lot of reasons. I got used to it and never had a problem with it. It was never a problem for me to be alone, to sit alone in school, go for lunch alone and spent my weekends alone at home. There was no other choice than accepting it... I mean, you can't force people to like you.
My mum always was worried and wished that I at least tried to find some friends. And now it seems that I am finding some friends and my mum is happy about it but it's not true.

Yeah, there are some people in school that I talk to but they aren't real friends...right?

  • It's not real friends if you only spent about 15 minutes talking to them in school, only discussing how stupid teachers are.

  • It's not real friends if you can't talk to them about what you like because they don't know the things or just think it's stupid anyways.

  • It's not real friends if you can't trust them because you always have to be afraid, that she is talking behind your back 'cause she's best friends with someone who hates you.

How am I supposed to enjoy this? How am I supposed to fell good? How am I supposed to be happy about going on a school trip with about 40 other students who either don't like me or don't care that I even exist? How am I supposed to ever feel as if I could ever find some friends...?
DisappearInTheCrowd DisappearInTheCrowd
18-21, F
May 15, 2012