Experiences With My Best Friend

Well this is a story about my experiences with my best friend. It'll take you through a journey of bonding, oneness, aspirations, dreams, destiny, joys and ultimately sorrows. To maintain confidentiality, i won't be mentioning any names. I'll just be calling my best friend as "TJE". So here goes.......

I met TJE back in High School. I had just shifted to a new town with my family and had to go to a new school. TJE was the only guy amongst 6 other girls in our class, one of the reasons why we bonded instantly. Another major factor was our rhyming names, same spellings with his starting with a T and mine with a V. Some more common factors were that we were also neighbors  and our  dads  happened to  know  each other from an old field work assignment together. (both of us are from the Military background where transfers and common friends are a part of life).

Moving on, i settled down in the new place pretty quickly coz of having a good friend. We would study, play and hangout together. Soon we were known as Siamese twins coz of our rhyming names and good friendship.
Life went on and we went from being good to best friends. We were two  completely  different  personalities  but that  never  got  in  way  of  our  friendship. TJE was always good at physical activities and sports while i would work wonders with anything relating to technology. In fact we would try and fill out each others weaknesses whenever we could.

Like every High School kid, we had our dreams and aspirations as well. The common aspiration of ours was to join and serve the military. We would endlessly discuss various things about our future and life in the military.

Time went by and we were soon at the end of our High School and ready to explore the world. While TJE decided to go in straight for the military entry, i decided to go to university first. I got place in a prestigious university and as luck would have it, TJE came to the military academy in my city just about 6 months later. We also had a vacation together at my parents place after my 1st semester at college just before TJE was selected to come to my city.

Then was the time when our friendship went through a lot of changes. Growing extremely strong at first and then just shattering like glass at the end of the 3 years that we lived through in the same city.

After TJE moved in at the academy, i decided to pay him a visit to cheer him up through the tough time he was having. Now as it was my first time to visit him at the academy, i had no clue about how to get there, how to convince the guards and finally how to locate him?...well i just left it to god and set off from my apartment early on the Sunday i had decided to visit him. Since i didn't have any transportation of my own, i was completely dependent on the city bus service. As the academy is located about 10 miles out of the city, the bus service frequency for there is pretty low and to cut it short, i ended up walking all the ten miles!!!!!!

I visited TJE countless times throughout the 1st two years and then he would visit me more often in the 3rd after he was a senior at the academy .  Also while in the 3rd year, my family moved to a new country and i visited them for a vacation. After traveling overseas, my perception about the world changed and i wanted to travel and discovered it myself. Now this clearly meant that i had to say goodbye to my aspirations of serving in the military and use my varsity education to find myself a good job.
I would say that i was not destined for the military as i got my military call and a nice job offer one after the other. Now it was for me to decide and after a lot of thinking, i went for the job. I even spoke  to TJE  about  it  and  could see he  was  pretty happy for me. We had good times even after that talk and all seemed to go well. (i was not sure about how TJE would take it as serving the military was our common aspiration).

After a few months of that, TJE went home on leave and honestly speaking, I've never heard from him again. He is still in touch with our common friends and even my own brother!!! I don't know about the common friends but his intention of being in touch with my brother is purely selfish as he might need my dad's reference in future. As for me, i never understood what went wrong between us and  I've  finally arrived  to  the  conclusion  that  my  getting a  good  job created the whole rift. I analyzed everything throughly and realized that though we were friends, with time, TJE only needed me for his selfish motives and as i would not be of much help to him anymore, he just cut the whole thing off. Similar stories from some other people also confirmed my doubts.

I did everything i could whenever TJE was in need of help, sometimes at the cost of my own wellbeing. This whole episode in life left me pretty confused in matters of friendship and trust, though by god's grace, i had enough strength to carry on with life.

vk vk
22-25, M
3 Responses Jul 12, 2007

I can relate with you in a lot of ways. i'm trying to get my best friend back now. We worked together and we had our normal ups and downs as friends, but an opportunity came along for me to better myself and she feels that I left her behind and without a job. Not my intentions. She held a grudge against me for hte longest time. We are now soughta speaking, but the friendship is not the same. If I dont' call her, theres no conversation. I wish we could have back what we once had. It's more of a long story, but's that the brief of it.

Aww, that sucks. It'd be strange to think he's still in contact with your own brother, but not you, only given he's only in that for selfish reasons, obviously you're not going to want to be friends with him again. I suppose in the end all you can do is remember the good times.

Wow. Sometimes we give so much of ourself to people that suck us dry and leave us standing there wounded and in shock. The more time that goes by, the more we realize the true nature of the thing we cherished as a "friendship". I'm sorry your friend hurt you like that, and hope it doesn't discourage you from making new friends as life progresses. As a single mother, I've had countless women come to me for friendship, I've babysat for them, cut their hair free, sewed, all kinds of things to make their life easier and prove myself a friend. Then when they pair up with someone, I am immediately forgotten. It has been tough to love and trust again after, but each new person we meet has their own story and you just never know if it might be a gem, so you have to remain optimistic. Cheers, God bless you!!