Girlfriend Application....lmfao!

The Basics...
1.What is your FULL NAME?
2.What is your date of birth..?
3.How many siblings do you have?
4.Do your siblings have a habit of hitting on your girlfriends?
5.Do either of your parents have a habit of hitting on your girlfriends?
6.What is your occupation?
7.How long have you had this current occupation..?
8.How many occupations have you had within the last two years?
9.Where do you reside/hunker down/hide out/stay?
10.How long have you resided/hunkered down/hid out/stayed at this location?
11. Do you live alone, with roomies, with parents, etc.?
12.Do you own or rent?
13.Do you have any pets?
14.If yes to question 13, what kind of pets and how many?
15.Do you clean up after such named pets on a daily basis?

16.Have you ever had to "sneek off" to make a visit to the "free clinic" for fear that you've possibly acquired something that AJAX won't wash off?
17.Have you actually been told by the doctor at such said "free clinic" that you actually DO have something that AJAX won't wash off?
18.Do you have a therapist?
19.If yes, do you have your therapist's HOME phone number?
20.Are you currently taking any anti-depressants or anti-psychotics?
21. If yes, please list all medications and dosages.
22.Have you ever been told by a professional or NON professional that you are, in fact, completely insane?   
23. If yes, please list full names and contact number to such individuals who have made that statement to you.
24.Do you bathe on a daily basis?
25.Do you groom yourself and brush your teeth on a daily basis?
26.Do you wear clean clothes every day?
27.How high is your sex drive?
28.How experimental are you sexually?
29.Have you ever had to make a visit to the ER because of an accident that happened druing sex?   
30.Have any of your sexual partners had to make a visit to the ER because of an accident that happened while having sex with you?

Past Relationships.....
31.How many relationships have you had within the past two years..?
32.Are there any of your exes that you are now "bestfriends" with?
33.How jealous are you in a relationship?
34.How controlling are you in a relationship?
35.How open minded are you in a relationship?
36.How many times a week did you and your most recent ex argue?
37.Who broke up with who?
38.Why was there a break up?
39.How long were you with your most recent ex?
40. Please list the full names and contact information for your last 5 exes.

Community Living...
41.Do you or have you ever had a criminal record?
42.Are you currently on probation of any kind?
43.Do you know any policemen or judges on a first name basis because of legal issues?
44.Have you been told that ORANGE actually looks good on you?
45.Have you ever been accused of being domestically violent or abusive?
46.Have you ever seen the back seat of the same police car more than once?
47.Do you find that you're more comfortable being in a building that has bars on the windows instead of being outside in a park?
48.Have you ever, or are you currently, attending any AA or NA meetings?
49.Do you do illegal drugs?
50.Have you ever fantasized about ways to kill your ex?

In Conclusion.....
51. Please list FIVE reasons why you feel that you should be considered for this position.
52. Please list FIVE reasons why you WANT this position.
53. Please list all hobbies, habits, clicks, ticks, and twitches that you might have.
54. Please list the top FIVE bestfriends in your life with contact information.
55. If considered for this position, there will be an interview conducted where.. you will have to take me out on a date.Where would you take me and what would we do?

concreteardrop concreteardrop
36-40, F
13 Responses Feb 5, 2010

Great article. Thanks for the info, this is really an interesting post. BTW, if anyone needs a fillable Girlfriend Application form, I found a blank form in this link This site PDFfiller also has several related forms that you might find useful.

ok... Let me know whoever applies:)

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This is hilarious! Love it :) did you find the lucky girl yet?

Ah, sadly, prospects yet...LMFAO!

hhaha good luck. my gf said it's hard to find someone you love on the internet.

awww so true good luck.

They used to send men on missions also in stories! :)

This makes me remember a story, set in old times, where this lady presented this sort of questionnaire to every man that came for her hand :)

how does the story go I would like to hear it!!

lol. This is guaranteed to keep away the pla<x>yers. Good luck :)

omg are u really looking for a gf? im interstd but thats alot to fill out. cant we just talk!! lol.

Wow!!! its like applying to a relationship Job....funny :)

Wow!!! its like applying to a relationship Job....funny :)

I have already filled this thing out...lmao