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Nice To Be Loved And Valued.

I've experienced lots of bad relationships and recently I've read a piece on why I kept attracting unavailable men and noticed that the problem was me. I keep attracting them because I was not emotionally secured. It doesn't mean I am clingy or whatever. It means that I think I love him but it's not true. Hard to explain what I mean. Anyway as we all know, alike attracts alike. For many years I wanted real love but never got it. I would dream of that day when I find love and now I don't bother. I think I gave up and thought I don't care if I don't ever find love. I am 42 and although I've read stories where older people found love, they're lucky. In my experience I don't think I'd ever find one because I've had bad relationships and I still think about my ex boyfriends who've put me though bad times. I still cry about it too.

I envy others who've found love and wished I experience that just once in my lifetime.

Anyway thanks for listening. If you're gonna respond please don't say you'll find someone one day blah blah cuz that's patronising.
Myalee Myalee 41-45, F 4 Responses Jan 7, 2013

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So I'm gonna ask ...just asking what sign are you zodiac ..I'm pisces febuary 20 ....I'm also starting a conversation with you just friendly talk ...

I know that you don't want to be patronized but I was 41 when I met my current husband. It's never too late. Just work on you and grow. That way when you are ready you will attract a healthy one.

I had a lot of bad relationships myself, traumatic, abusive, etc. And I also had my own bipolar and son's severe bipolar with psychotic features, oppositional defiant disorder, severe ADHD and pervasive development disorder to deal with, so I totally understand. And I also had another child and basically no child support, no involvement from Daddio. Ugh. It was rough! I totally get it. I was unstable for years and so was my son. Our house was violent and holes in every wall from my son. It never stopped, it seemed. This happened for years.

So, I immersed myself into family counseling on and off for years and just focused on us. I accepted the fact that I would be single the rest of my life and I was okay with that. For the most part.

But one week I had a huge spiritual experience like never before. I prayed for days on end, read the Bible (New Testament) and just talked to God about EVERYTHING. I asked for forgiveness for everything I could think of and He heard my prayers. FINALLY heard and answered my prayers!

I don't mean to push my beliefs on you, but I am going to share with you what worked for me because it was miraculous!

The Bible says that God hears the prayers of the righteous, so always ask for forgiveness before asking for help in prayers; so He hears you.

1 Peter 3:12
For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous, And His ears are open to their prayers; But the face of the Lord is against those who do evil.”

God is not bad, this is just how He works.....And we all do evil.... so always ask for forgiveness first before prayer and then He will HEAR your prayers.

So during this huge spiritual experience, I got on my knees and cried (a lot) and asked God for the perfect husband for me and my children. A man who would understand our disorders, accept them and give us the help and support we needed. I prayed that he would be affluent, have excellent health insurance so we could get better and I had a LONG itemized list of what I wanted and needed. I also prayed that he would have a good retirement package.... haha. I prayed that he would accept my children as his own and everything I could think of..... I prayed for everything. Love, true love and devotion/commitment, SECURITY, etc.

Well three months later I met him and married him. We've been together 10 and a half years. The story goes on if you are interested.

OMG! that's my story right there and I'm only 27 years old. I always wonder if I will ever find someone who really loves me. But I always inspire myself that God is in control, if it was meant to be, it will be..I pray about it too:)

You're 27 years old. You're still young and I truly hope u find a lovely man one day. Never give yourself away, always keep your friends and your regular life cuz if he walks away u will still have your friends and reg life and the pains of loss won't be so unbearable. I'm still on my own today. :(

the both of you will find that special guy ,honest to god you will. heck the both are only what 27 , lol your just getting started . test them alllll out tight now :) lol its just when you get to 47 that u got to start to worry :) .. havea nicee nite

Thanks. That's sweet. I'm 42. The other lady is 27. She have a chance. I don't.

I appreciate your honest story. After 40s the attitute changes, the demands, the tolerance... And perhaps we learn to love ourselves first (= cliche? Can be). I just dont know if loving myself is going ever satisfy my need to be loved...

Thanks.
Well if you do love yourself, that's a bonus!