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Need A Strong Female Mother Figure....

Sometimes I think that is wrong but it is something I feel I really need.
I feel I am disrespecting the women in my family by saying this but it's what I feel and I feel I can be honest here.
I don't feel like I have a strong female in my life who I can be inspired by and it's something I feel I could really benefit and learn from.
My mother and I aren't close although she likes to think we are. She is very negative, worries a lot and she believes that women can only be successful and happy if they are married with kids. On the other hand my aunt is in her early forties, single, still living at home and is very dependent on my grandparents. Everyone says how alike we are and it makes me sad and angry as I want more from life then what she has and believe that her life is abnormal as she is SO dependent on my grandparents.
I feel that my late grandmother was an inspiration but sadly, I only really realised this after her death. She was gentle, kind, fantastic with children and a very giving and compassionate woman who wanted to make a difference in the world.
I am 26 and feel that maybe I am too old to want a mentor but as I say, I do crave a strong minded, independent and determined mother figure who I can learn from but who also cares for me a lot as a person. I used to think I had that with a colleague at work but now I feel she doesn't care as much as I don't look after her kids and she hasn't treated me very well generally in the past few months especially.
There is also another lady in her early forties at work who comes into the company now and then and I think she is fantastic. She is head manager, married, two kids, beautiful and confident and I always wish she would speak to me as I feel I could learn from her.
Maybe it's wrong but I feel I need a strong female mentor to teach me about life and to help me see that I am worthwhile and that marriage and kids aren't the only thing a woman is good for. I also want to be mothered a bit and cared for.
I feel a bit embarrassed about writing all this as it is a very deep feeling and need for me that I haven't really voiced before.
Jenni855 Jenni855 26-30, F 9 Responses Aug 20, 2011

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i kinda feel the same way about my Mother but the difference is that my mother's attention is all on my lil sister but not me like when i want to talk to her it can never be about me for 2 seconds she has to mention my sister i love my mum don't get me wrong she's the best i think its because I'm not getting attention from her, but theres this lady manager she's really cool and a version like me in a way she's lovely so i think I'm seeing her as like a mentor/ mother figure

I feel the same way!!!

I thought I was alone in feeling like I needed a mother figure too! Do you still feel like this now though? I'm 18 but I'm scared I'm still going to feel like this when I grow up :/

I believe you are right to look forward to an older woman to mentor you. It may be a difficult thing to find the person who would do that though. but That doesn't mean you won't find that quality in another woman. Teeny seems to be right also it might be part of your makeup..What about asking the woman about what it is in her life that makes her so confident and if she would share that with you. then tell her you think you need someone to model that for you..to learn from. *That confidence in their position as to how others see them and how they handle themselves is the key... not overconfidence, though. It's like how Donald Trump handles his dealing with people..Assertive yet not overstepping the boundaries of decency..* I think he does get a little pushy though..Too overconfident... Not personable ..That is important..! being friendly , personable ..Not overly ..knowing boundaries again.. *&*&* Does she smile at people in a friendly, corporate way..? Key factor friendliness..outgoing ..Just my opinion.. Okie..

Jenni, What is most interesting to me about your story is that you say how much of an inspiration your late Grandmother was to you. You describe the wonderful qualities that your grandmother possessed that were admirable to you. Gentle, Kind, Fantastic with children very giving and compassionate, wanting to make a difference to the world......................Your late Grandmother and you must be one and the same! because you are all of these things too. (These are the qualities that I see within you, when I read your stories.) All I think is that you just need time to gain confidence to see these things for your self.

That actually brought tears to my eyes. I think that's the loveliest thing anyone has ever said to me. xx

No, I just look up to these women most if that makes sense. Those who are older, successful and independent with lots of confidence. I suppose it is because I want to be them and want some of what they have.

Oh you are not wrong at all! I feel totally the same! I mean you shouldn't close your search to just certain type of woman. Contemporary gals can make a hell of a difference in your life as well :)

That's all good in theory but in reality, I think we all need people. Yes, we should depend on ourselves for happiness but we all sometimes need a helping hand along the way especially when you feel lost in life as I do. It may be wrong but I think I am not alone in thinking and wanting this.

Your thoughts are not open enough. I see what you are looking for is a strong woman figure in your life. You cant limit it to a "mother" like figure. There is many of us young females, who are strong and despite life's effects in our life we still standing strong or see a light at the end of the tunnel. My advice? Look into yourself and try to be strong with what you have not on another woman who might or might not truly care about you. You were born to succeed! to be happy and not to depend on others. You was a gift and you are a beautiful gift in the life of who ever gets to know you! Once you learn to be happy with yourself you will see that the rest comes along with it!