Need A Strong Female Mother Figure....Sometimes I think that is wrong but it is something I feel I really need.
I feel I am disrespecting the women in my family by saying this but it's what I feel and I feel I can be honest here.
I don't feel like I have a strong female in my life who I can be inspired by and it's something I feel I could really benefit and learn from.
My mother and I aren't close although she likes to think we are. She is very negative, worries a lot and she believes that women can only be successful and happy if they are married with kids. On the other hand my aunt is in her early forties, single, still living at home and is very dependent on my grandparents. Everyone says how alike we are and it makes me sad and angry as I want more from life then what she has and believe that her life is abnormal as she is SO dependent on my grandparents.
I feel that my late grandmother was an inspiration but sadly, I only really realised this after her death. She was gentle, kind, fantastic with children and a very giving and compassionate woman who wanted to make a difference in the world.
I am 26 and feel that maybe I am too old to want a mentor but as I say, I do crave a strong minded, independent and determined mother figure who I can learn from but who also cares for me a lot as a person. I used to think I had that with a colleague at work but now I feel she doesn't care as much as I don't look after her kids and she hasn't treated me very well generally in the past few months especially.
There is also another lady in her early forties at work who comes into the company now and then and I think she is fantastic. She is head manager, married, two kids, beautiful and confident and I always wish she would speak to me as I feel I could learn from her.
Maybe it's wrong but I feel I need a strong female mentor to teach me about life and to help me see that I am worthwhile and that marriage and kids aren't the only thing a woman is good for. I also want to be mothered a bit and cared for.
I feel a bit embarrassed about writing all this as it is a very deep feeling and need for me that I haven't really voiced before.