A Desire Years In The Making Part Three

I've been seriously considering spending time with a lovely man I've met online.  And by "spending time with" I mean *******.  The first time we meet, I want it to be just him and me.  But in a surprising turn of events, I'm toying with the notion of adding a second man to the mix should I be lucky enough to get a second go round with him.

Man, I've really lost it.  And by "it" I mean my conventional view of sex for myself being comprised of one man/one woman scenarios. 

I'd long ago accepted that love came in many different combinations.  As long as I can remember, actually, I thought gay couples were just dandy.  But the two's company, three's a crowd thing is such an oft-used proverb that group sex seemed strange to me.  To a middle class Midwestern girl with northern European roots, more than two in the bed feels a bit Bacchanalian.  It's something Italians might do, sure.  But not my people.

Here's the thing, though.  All the words of love that he and I have exchanged - particularly coming on the heels of all the stories I've read from others about the thrills of ********** - have me more than a little bi-curious.  On the gentleman's behalf, that.  I'd like to watch this dear man suck a ****.  And take it up his ***.

There's something amazing about two male bodies together.  When they're engaged in *******, it's clearly not for the purpose of populating the planet.  It's for sensual pleasure.  I think I've mentioned to you that I like gay ****.  And I mentioned I know some gay fellas who make cute couples.  So it can hardly shock you to hear all this from me now, right?  If I am going to break my marriage vows and make love with a man for whom I've come to care a great deal, why shouldn't I fantasize about taking it further? 

My world shifted dramatically when I made that first tentative step into exploring my sexuality by corresponding with strange men.  Once they exposed me to their innermost hopes and dreams, I became aroused.  And as they pressed me to share mine, I realized to my shame that I had none.  I'd blocked that part of my imagination because I am married to a man who seemingly has none.  On the rare occasions we've shared, he has confided that he wonders what this woman or that woman might be like to ****.  Particularly younger women with short skirts.  That is the extent of it.  Oh...and perhaps to **** a couple of women at once.  You know, the classic twin sisters thing.  But it was never a matter of my being one of the twins.  It was someone new, to have some variety from the same ol', same ol'.

In contrast, my internet lovers have shared that they fantasize about sharing their wife with another man.  Or watching their wife engage in sex with another woman.  Or arranging for a gang bang for their lady, seeing her pleasured senseless.  At first I was suspicious of such stuff.  Surely these fellows were pandering, saying things they thought I'd wish to hear, putting their lady's happiness ahead of their own.  But as time's gone on, they've convinced me of their sincerity.  They get off on her getting off.  They want to see her release her inhibitions and enjoy sex.  And they have a curiosity about what I'd like.  Well...back at ya, fellas.  I'd like to see them with another man.  To see them get off on the things that are most exciting to them.  To make love with me and another man. 

Sorry...I mean to **** me and another man.  There's my foolish romantic heart again, trying to imbue this with more than just the physical pleasure.  For me, though, to engage in such behaviour, I need to love at least one of the participants.

Interestingly, I have no fantasies about my husband.  Perhaps because his fantasies don't have me in the picture.

But the lovely man with whom I am seriously considering spending time has made it clear he fantasizes about having me.  And me having him.  And so it's him I'm dreaming of, first just the two of us, then at a later date in a Mmf encounter.

You see, when he and I chatted back in February, I put out some feelers to see if that idea floated his boat.   I can assure you things bobbed right up.
milkynips milkynips
46-50, F
May 18, 2012