If There Is Such a Thing As Normal.
I'm not sure if normal really exists and if it did, I'd desire it. I'm a bit unconventional as it is and my relationships are by nature a bit unconventional. I don't mind the quirkiness and in fact I probably embrace this. I'm someone who often chooses passion over stability and practicality and so I know I'm by nature resisting normal and resisting easy.
I want something a little less confusing and dramatic, something less out there. And I generally have a high threshold for all these things, but things felt so extreme and intense to me.I want someone to love me back with equal fire and care as much as I do I want what I see to be what I get more often. Perhaps I am craving a bit more stability. It's hard when things change so drastically and so frequently on a day to day basis and I don't know where she stands and am beginning to think it's impossible to know.
Granted, there were many good things and I'm still partly under the impression that things can change and work out. But I'm coming to the realization that being in limbo is extremely taxing and I don't know how much more of it I can take. I'm thinking of taking matters into my own hands