I've Never Felt Comfortable At Funerals.

I know, it's a funeral, it's not supposed to be comfortable. But I don't cry or anything. At my uncle's funeral, when it was my turn to pay my last respects, I just stared at his lifeless body, no tears or anything. Everyone around me was sobbing or bawling, and I just felt awkward. I wasn't really even sad. My uncle was sick for most of his life. Sometimes he'd seem like he was just as healthy as anyone, running around laughing and smiling. Other times, he'd be lying in the hospital bed with more tubes sticking out of him that I cared to count. He knew all along that he might not make it to see next week, but when he was feeling ok, he lived like he wasn't worried at all about dying. And I don't think he was worried. He talked about death like it was nothing, an inevitable part of life, and I think I adopted that view myself.

 

So when I die, I don't want people to cry over me or hold onto things that remind them of me. I don't want them to forget about me, but I don't want them to hold onto my memory to tightly. My funeral could be next week, or in 80 years. Who knows. Right now, I'm mostly healthy, relatively happy, and young. When I do die, this is how I want them to remember me. If I end up in a hospital eating, breathing, and peeing through tubes waiting to die, I don't want my parents, sister, or friends to be sitting in the chair next to me. Let them say their goodbyes if they have to, but I don't want them to torture themselves having to see me like that. I want their memories of me to be happy and healthy.

 

I want my funeral to be a celebration of my life, not a sad, somber, tearful goodbye. Play my baby movies, show my prom pics, show pics of our family camping trips and birthdays. Show me as a 3-year-old dragging my "Bunnywab" around by the ears. Show me today, hugging my threadbare Bunnyrabbit in my sleep. No, on second thought, don't show me sleeping, cuz that'll remind them all that I'm dead. Show my dad's videos of me playing soccer in high school. I don't care what they show, but show me happy and smiling and having fun, cuz that's how I want them to remember me. Let them cry if they need to, but don't dwell on the fact that I'm gone. Everyone will deal with that in their own way, but I don't want my funeral to be a sad time. I don't even want anyone to wear black or anything that's normally associated with funerals. Have a kegger for all I care. Just don't cry over me.

KaBe22 KaBe22
18-21, F
1 Response Mar 15, 2010

What a bunch of morbid folks here...grins...<br />
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In the words of Woody Allen - "I'm not afraid of death - I just don't want to be there when it happens!"<br />
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I'd find it so much harder to die (depending upon how I manage pass away - I'd prefer no pain though) than to live...yet I'm not terrified and do know this is a natural process of life - no one gets out of this world alive despite those who try! <br />
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I certainly will miss seeing the future improvements which will invariably happen...and will miss loved ones...but like most here would prefer a celebration of life rather than the sorrow of passing....and of course no use at all for the body afterward...so cremation is definitely in the works - and I don't care what happens to my ashes...just toss them anywhere! <br />
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But, Instead of a funeral, celebrate instead and do not mourn - Have a great party - get drunk - have sex! I will be free...and I will do my best to come back to haunt you if you don't - wicked grins!