Cows and I go way back. Once I woke early in the morning in my home in the country, where we had cats and dogs and even a goat named Ivy and her two sons Rocky & Bullwinkle, but no cows. I woke because I heard the thunder of not-so-little feet. When I looked out the window, there in my front yard were 3 Herefords, the red and white ones. They were nearly as confused as I was to find themselves there, and milled around digging up the lawn and making deposits I had no interest in withdrawing. Eventually their owner showed up and herded them back home. I had to clean up the yard, though. Later, I became an elementary school bus driver (now therein lie some tales!) and one morning we were a little ahead of schedule and as we passed one dairy farmer's maternity ward pasture right along the road, I saw a cow was about to drop her calf. I thought, what a cool experience for my kids! So I stopped the bus and we watched the calf being born, dropping to the ground in a shiny sac that looked almost like a light bulb, its mother licking it free, and we watched as it took its first step on those long skinny trembling legs. Late that afternoon, after the last bus run, my phone began to ring. Parents didn't think this was as cool as I did. They were mad clear through. The next morning, one of my first graders delivered a message from her mother. She delivered the EXACT message, which was, "Tell that dizzy b**** if I want you to know about the birds and the bees I'LL tell you!" I was innocent. Birds and bees never even came into the conversation! And finally, on the same bus run, I saw my first Oreo cows, which look like they are being bred to grow up to be designer handbags in Dallas. Black on the front, black on the back, with a broad white band in the middle. They're called "Belted Galloways" - look 'em up online. I loved them. That fall I noticed the farmer had bought a Hereford bull (the red and white ones again). The next spring, early one morning I saw the first calf born of an Oreo cow mother and a Hereford bull father. It was a Whoopie Pie calf! Chocolate on the front, chocolate on the back and white in the middle. Genetics is so nifty.