Riddle Me This

why does it take until I am almost 30 years old to realize I would like to be in a polyamorous relationship, but it only took me about 3 minutes to realize how hard that would be. I went through the "when, where, why and how" emotions. and the only option it seems is to hunt them down online. you would think that since I like men and women that I would have double the options but I live in the bible belt.... people here are still acting like lesbians, interracial dating, psychics, and wine at grocery stores are an abomination to god...ugh. really wish I lived out west right now....the things one will do for happiness lol.
mrslady1 mrslady1
26-30, F
5 Responses Jan 14, 2013

More people are realizing they are bi or even poly daily. I live in California and when we had a gf my male friends were envious, the female friends were judgmental.. Go figure

My wife and I are in Tennessee and we are poly amourious pagans, We love bbws, and even though we are both white, we love black ladies. It has been hard finding someone we both connect with .

mrslady sometimes it works out that way

i guess it's understandable to realize it's hard to know who is open to the idea of a poly- relationship and who isn't, ... we live in a world where anything that isn't exclusivly monogamist with missionary sex is taboo, ... sure there are others that are going to have a harder time than we do about looking for partners, but it's already hard enough.

the web sites that are open to having poly couples and people who accept it are in such competition your lucky if you see updates a few times a week.

other sites treat it akin to promoting cheating and do not recognize it's an open and honest serious relationship we're looking for

after that is random chance and hoping who you find is going to be open to the idea. ... that's scary in places where your looking at possible jail time :( for falling in love ?

I hope you find the couple of your dreams... Believe me WE ARE OUT HERE! And guess what? To give you even more hope... my fiance and I happen to live in the bible belt as well...who ALSO happen to be in love with the woman of our dreams... god she is PERFECT for us... and she finds us to be PERFECT for her... but for some reason she doesn't want to fall in love with us... for some reason she doesn't want to give a shot to being in a Polyamorous Triad with us... and I think it's because she is afraid, and also the fact that she strongly dislikes being in monogamous relationships to begin with.

It is so funny that you say that. After I thought about it for a while I was basically in a poly relationship with a couple when I was about 20yrs old. I just didnt know what it was called. we hung out. we had sex. we even went on unlabeled "dates" together. I loved it! I want to base my next relationship on that model if I can. I am glad you two found someone. I know it can be scary.

Good for you! :) I had sexual experiences as a kid with a brother and sister... I think this is why I am the way I am today! ha!
but...
****... You are so lucky... lol I wish all three of us could make love together... I mean, we have all been in several intimate settings, like falling asleep together in bed, but we have never initiated any sexual relations. We've kissed several parts of her body, we've given her massages, and we have all kissed. (Not making out or anything, just a peck, and rare if ever on the lips...) What I'm trying to say is that, it could totally happen for all of us... but she doesn't want to...I don't think she understands me and my fiance's feelings... she doesn't understand how in love we are with her. We are not afraid, but she most certainly is. It's so simple, yet so complicated.

there is a lot to be afraid of I suppose. The biggest fear is for most people seem to be public opinion. or possibly trying to explain to their children. I can understand that though. How are things going for you all now?

Well, we believe she is afraid out of the mere idea of feeling something "real" since our feelings of love for her have never come out of anybody else but from us. She has never found what she is looking for in anybody. It's frustrating, since she is out there looking for what is already in front of her... She is the type of woman to never let herself into a serious relationship, let alone with one more person to add to the mix... I'm sure having two lovers must be highly intimidating. Any who, confronting children of our relationship will be the last of our worries, since none of us have children.

Anyways, since you asked, everything is steady and calm. We recently went on vacation together and were alone with each other for a week, but nothing has changed. It honestly felt like a really long hang out with great company. I must admit, I was very anxious and hoped that we would all get intimate one night. But that didn't happen... I believe the greatest component we lack to our triad is her will to want to make it happen.

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