Is Your Sex Drive Dominating The Relationship?

Sex is controlling people’s decisions for relationships. To me, sex is not important. Sex is the least important part of the relationship. I believe that relationships are based on honesty, trust and loyalty. Relationships should consist of two individuals that share equally strong emotions for each other. Emotions that lead one another to listen and learn about the other, to stand by and protect the other, and to want nothing less than happiness for the other. To prove this, they must be honest, they must trust and they must be loyal. But a relationship where sex is greater than those is not a relationship. It’s mere infatuation and sexual appeal towards the individual.


I have a friend whom I’ve known for quite some time. I feel like I know her better than her boyfriends do. Well, I guess because it’s true. I’m going to call her Nikki, she’s a chunkier girl with a pretty face. She’s seventeen and has a baby. So, Nikki has always been chatty and outspoken. She meets guys all the time and usually flirts with them right off the bat if they’re attractive to her. Nikki is the kind of person who is very criticizing. It seems she always finds something wrong with everybody around her and announces it to them regardless of how it’d make them feel. Though, if anyone were to criticize her she’d bite their head off. [This is one of those cases of her putting others down to make herself feel better of her flaws] She’s also very open about her sexuality. Okay, now that you know a bit about Nikki, I’ll continue with my story.


She has this new boyfriend. I can tell he really likes her and it would seem that she really likes him too. He does things for her, tries to make her feel good about herself, takes care of her baby with her, you know, how a guy is supposed to treat his girlfriend. Thing is, she doesn’t see these things. It’s like she expects him to do more than that. She’s always demanding him to do things for her when she is free and able to them herself. She always has some smart-*** remark and stirs up an argument just to make him look like an ***. Without hesitation she tells him he looks like a dirt when he’s not wearing something she wants him to wear. Just everything she says is mostly negative and he’s trying so hard to keep the relationship on good terms but she’s ******* it up and blaming it on him.


I guess he has to take these pills. Not too sure what they are for exactly but when he didn’t take them one day he got stressed out easily, threw up and had a bit of a temper. Even though she was the reason for his frustration, he still tried to play it cool and be supportive of her. And her knowing that she was making it worse, tried to make him feel guilty and more stressed out by saying mean, hurtful and unnecessary comments. I felt bad for him. I really always feel bad for him when she treats him like ****. I just don’t understand. If it was my boyfriend getting upset because of something I had done plus that he hadn’t taken his pill, I’d hug him tight and tell him things to make him feel better. I wouldn’t want to see him upset at all.


Their relationship is based on sex. That’s probably the only thing they can do to make each other happy – then again, I wouldn’t know for sure. But everywhere I else see them; she’s just a pain in the *** to him. If I had the chance to have a boyfriend that cared about me as much as he cares about her, I wouldn’t be throwing it away. She even told me when we were alone, that he was talking about moving in with her and she didn’t want him to and she detested the idea of having a kid with him. Now, I wouldn’t want to have a kid at a young age but she talks of him like he’s a piece of **** to her. I wish I could just slap her up side the head and tell her to show him some love. She even makes sexual comments and actions to other guy friends of theirs and he doesn’t care at all. But when he said that we both [Nikki and I] were sexy in a picture after she asked him what he thought of it, she snapped on him.


My point is, that sex shouldn’t be the only thing holding a relationship together. I know many more people that have similar experiences and that don’t understand what a relationship should be about. Why don’t they see this? For me, I’d never go into a relationship without knowing the person and there’d be no sex until we’ve gotten to know each other even better. I want someone that can be honest and trustworthy and loyal to me. I want someone that will love me for being honest and trustworthy and loyal to them. I don’t want to see bad relationships that run on sex and only sex. It hurts me to see this. Why can’t people just make things easier for their relationship and put their emotions ahead of their sex drive. Can any one relate?

CourtGatekeeper CourtGatekeeper
18-21, F
2 Responses Feb 20, 2010

I am going to tell you straight out, I am a virgin who likes his innocence, because it makes me feel comfortable. I am honest, especially when I asked what they said about a MILF, I didn't know what a MILF was lol. Well, I am trusted to keep money for people, and their belongings. And if you call being there for someone, I can wait until they find a person they want to be there for them.

Thank you for your comment. I just wish she saw what every one else does. Then maybe she'd smarten up and act more mature given the fact that she's now a mother.