Missing The Moments At Home

Like most others, this is not a decision that has 'just come about'. I've been married to a 'roommate' for almost 14 years now. We sleep at opposite sides of the bed with 4 feet between us. We have his / her laptops, sit on different couches ... she is with the kids all day but when I get home and finish off the day with the kids and get them ready for bed she jumps into "me" time and I have nothing. I love her for what she does for the kids, for the work she does at home and for all the running around she does for groceries, kids things, and all that good stuff. There seems to be little love between us as a couple though. We attended a marriage seminar last weekend with various speakers. The last speaker asked the couples who wanted to 'renew' their vows to look at each other, hold hands and 'repeat after me'. The husbands went first which I followed too. Then when it was her turn she said nothing. She started to cry and walked out until this speaker was done. She was really cold for the remainder of that day and the next. I do know she was practically raised by her mom with a new father every month. Her mom left her dad when she was young. I grew up with both my parents who are still married and doing well together. I'm tired of each passing day where we are nothing more than people caught up in everything so much that I may as well be her friend only. I got married mostly so I could enjoy a wonderful sex life with someone consistent. Turns out the thing that got us together is the thing that is causing us division. This said, I know I have been appreciated by others I've dated in the past. I long for those days, or at least the appreciation and the attention from someone. I miss it a lot. I have so much to offer but it seems my wife has no idea what she's missing out on. And frankly from the way I have observed things, she likely doesn't care because it seems the things I enjoy she doesn't enjoy. For example, there have been times where the kids are in bed and we have a bit of time available. She wants to shower but won't let me shower with her. She doesn't like snuggling, kissing, showing public displays of affection, or me touching her in a playful loving way ... she is just amazing me with what she doesn't seem to like! I still hold my head high and keeping moving on doing my best each day. It's a decision I make daily. Sometimes hourly LOL!

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3 Responses Mar 3, 2010

what a parallel to my life,,,

WOW! sounds like my life.... life stinks sometimes...

there are so many of us in the same situation,, i do wish i could find a lover and confidant,, its really misirablw