I Am Confused And Could Use Advice

Hi, I am a born male, and up to the age of 12 I didn't really think about it. I have never shown a lot of interest in either gender until that point. At age 12, when I passed the final year of gradeschool two things started to happen. The first was that I was slowly becoming more attracted to girls. The second was that I could see everything I saw in girls in boys as well... But I never said anything because I was afraid people would look at me funny.

Between the age of 14 or 15 it took another step. I would fantasize about sex between a man and a woman. But I would be the woman. I started seeing myself with long hair (which I currently even have) and pictured myself in dresses. Yet I also kept looking at woman sexually, even if I pictured myself as one. Which is why I am so confused.

I am now 20, the developments at age 15 have made me a loner, even to the few friends I have I am very distant, except maybe one, because I know he would understand if I told him. Or maybe I just hope he would. I have never had a serious relationship with either gender and no sex at all. I can no longer accept myself in this impasse of feelings. On one side I like women, on the other I have accepted men can be just as attractive and either way I keep dreaming, wishing I was born a woman. Every time I pass a shop with dresses I can picture myself wearing them as a woman. Every time I meet a woman I feel an attraction. What or Who am I?

Am I fighting the fact that I might be gay or bi? Am I not straight AND not in the right body?

These emotions have already torn my life apart where I can no longer function properly, and they are soon to start to show effects on all around me. Is there anyone going through the same? Is this natural for those who were born in the wrong body?

Reading this you know more then me closest friend or relative. So please, take another minute to help me move on with my life.
VincentAMV VincentAMV
18-21, M
4 Responses Dec 8, 2012

yes i have always wanted to have an sex change to since i was in my very early teens in my school years i really fancied this boy in my class room he was so so hansom and his name was mark alight and he lived on a farm not fair from Hartley Whitney i do not think no one ever know that i fancied mark alight but i did and at play times between class i never played boy games i would always play girls games like hop scotch and skipping and handstands and cartwheels and so on and i got bulled a lot at school because of this. when i was old enough and had enough courage to see a doctor to tail them that i really really want to have an sex change on me so that i could live my life happily as a girl for ever after, i then went on to see lots more doctors to tail them that i really really want to have an sex change on me so that i could live my life happily as a girl for ever after, they then said that i have got gender id problems of being in the wrong sex id meaning that i fault like i was really a girl but looked like a boy, i then went on seeing more doctors at a gender id clinic in London for testes so that they could give me the right strength hormone tablets to change the shape of my body and to stop all my heir growing on my body and to make me start growing my breasts, all was going so well for 2 to 3 years still taking all the hormones they could me, until i had to a pair in court on several occasions and i missed 2 doctors appointments i did ring the gender id clinic that i could not make it to the appointments because i had to a pair in the court on those days, but they did dot take that in to consideration and stooped giving me my hormone tables because i had missed 2 doctors appointments which i fault it was very unfair of them by doing that because after all i did tail them i could not make the appointments and a very good reasons why i could not make it to the appointments but they would bot lesson to me so i was foisted to carry on taking my hormone tablets by ordering the hormone tablets from the internet sits and casting me a lot of money in doing so, my breasts are quite diverted now and growing and getting bigger all the time witch i am very glad to say and filing more like a girl every and wearing all the girls cloths i like the look of them and i wear nothing else but girls cloths now and i fail happy and comfortable of wearing girls clothing but i still find it hard to get the right sized girls cloths at fit me and happy in doing so of wearing the girls as much as i can to fail as much like a girl as pozaball. and now i am at the point where i just wont to have my sex changed so i can fail even more like a girl and even more happier with my life of being a girl that i have always wonted cents my very early teens, that i am failing so so very very desperate about having my sex changed that i would do anything and every thing positional of having my sex changed because i am so so very very desperate of getting it done to me, even if i had get lone to doing so and having large det to pay off back because i do not have the money to pay for my sex change. can any one help me and give advice on how i can go about having my sex changed because i am desperate of getting it done and over with once and all making hole fully like a girl as poser-bull with lots of love and kindness, my boys name was Tony Kester and my girls name is Veronica Castal XxXxXxXx i hope i will here from some of you very soon.

yes i have always wanted to have an sex change to since i was in my very early teens in my school years i really fancied this boy in my class room he was so so hansom and his name was mark alight and he lived on a farm not fair from Hartley Whitney i do not think no one ever know that i fancied mark alight but i did and at play times between class i never played boy games i would always play girls games like hop scotch and skipping and handstands and cartwheels and so on and i got bulled a lot at school because of this. when i was old enough and had enough courage to see a doctor to tail them that i really really want to have an sex change on me so that i could live my life happily as a girl for ever after, i then went on to see lots more doctors to tail them that i really really want to have an sex change on me so that i could live my life happily as a girl for ever after, they then said that i have got gender id problems of being in the wrong sex id meaning that i fault like i was really a girl but looked like a boy, i then went on seeing more doctors at a gender id clinic in London for testes so that they could give me the right strength hormone tablets to change the shape of my body and to stop all my heir growing on my body and to make me start growing my breasts, all was going so well for 2 to 3 years still taking all the hormones they could me, until i had to a pair in court on several occasions and i missed 2 doctors appointments i did ring the gender id clinic that i could not make it to the appointments because i had to a pair in the court on those days, but they did dot take that in to consideration and stooped giving me my hormone tables because i had missed 2 doctors appointments which i fault it was very unfair of them by doing that because after all i did tail them i could not make the appointments and a very good reasons why i could not make it to the appointments but they would bot lesson to me so i was foisted to carry on taking my hormone tablets by ordering the hormone tablets from the internet sits and casting me a lot of money in doing so, my breasts are quite diverted now and growing and getting bigger all the time witch i am very glad to say and filing more like a girl every and wearing all the girls cloths i like the look of them and i wear nothing else but girls cloths now and i fail happy and comfortable of wearing girls clothing but i still find it hard to get the right sized girls cloths at fit me and happy in doing so of wearing the girls as much as i can to fail as much like a girl as pozaball. and now i am at the point where i just wont to have my sex changed so i can fail even more like a girl and even more happier with my life of being a girl that i have always wonted cents my very early teens, that i am failing so so very very desperate about having my sex changed that i would do anything and every thing positional of having my sex changed because i am so so very very desperate of getting it done to me, even if i had get lone to doing so and having large det to pay off back because i do not have the money to pay for my sex change. can any one help me and give advice on how i can go about having my sex changed because i am desperate of getting it done and over with once and all making hole fully like a girl as poser-bull with lots of love and kindness, my boys name was Tony Kester and my girls name is Veronica Castal XxXxXxXx i hope i will here from some of you very soon.

Hi you sead you need help I can help you.
The first thing is find a gender counceler thay are very.good for your problems and can help you sort things out and thay can help with depression and give you other options you may not see and refer you to a doctor for hormone treatment if that's for you.
As for being atracted to both sexes that is not strange many people are , its called
bysexual and is perfectly normal. Execpt your self and be happy. I hope this helps good luck and choose to live ,

I can relate. As i got older and became interested in girls. i found that i lived boys too. i never really put to much thought into until i realized that i had a crush on one of my male friends.
after that i changed. distanced myself from people. was embarrassed and confused.
now I've been married for 14 years to a beautiful woman, have a perfect son. my life changed. what happened? i told my wife that i was and wanted to be a girl. It was her who helped me understand.
im not gay or bi. im straight. i was borne a man so i like women. i was borne a woman so i like men. simple.
i hope this helped. be strong...