If It's To Be, It's Up To Me

EternallyHopeful,

You situation seems really hard. I hope that you have found what the answers that you were looking for since the time that you posted this. While I have no experience with autism, I can tell you that I am a big believer in natural healing. I, too, am not opposed to seeing traditional doctors but I do believe that a lots of healing can come from natural ways. I use natural healing to deal with my own things and have had excellent results-- so, for whatever it's worth-- I think that it's at least worth a shot and it certainly can't hurt! :)

TNP - one of the best bits of advice I've had about all this came from my brother. He said to me: 'just make sure you keep having fun with him (my son).' With all the worry and the confusion and the wanting the best for them, sometimes you just forget something so simple. We'v really tried to do that, and I'm so grateful that on a good day, S. gives the most amazing smiles, warm hugs, and laughs heartily. So, just tell your sister to 'keep having fun with him' :)



I understand the reading part. I did a lot of that too. Think I'm a bit rebellious, though, because after what happened with my brother (hearing that being diagnosed late made him 'set' in things made me soooo angry - he was seeing therapists from when he was a small kid) I decided to use what I can from the medical system, but I'm not relying on them. I'm still to see the outcome, though, but whatever the result, I'd be trying the same things again the next time, I think. Have to try...

I definitely understand that and I really hope you get the best for your son. I can't even imagine what it must be like for you.



This is still all very new to me, too. I keep reading books, hoping to see patterns or similarities to myself, but it's a very difficult process.



My sister has a young son and she seems to be experiencing similar challenges to yourself. I hope that I can help them both out as he gets older. He's a great boy, and I really hope my input can work positively for him.

TNP - thank you for sharing your experience, I really appreciate your insight. My brother has a story very similar to yours. He was diagnosed with AS at 32 (I was 27). Our whole lives I just always said when people asked me 'J. is J.' We had no idea all the things he was struggling with. Like you he has a fairly high IQ - 130 or so. I so understand the complexities you're describing. It's really, really rough.



With my son - he has been diagnosed with Autism. He is a regressive case - was talking and stopped after he was 2. At the moment, he basically doesnt talk at all, although yesterday, he very clearly said 'ear' to me several times (he points out body parts when I say them). His comprehension of words is much better than his speech, but he is really in his own little world a great deal of the time. I've had lots of discussions with my brother along similar lines to what you're saying, and I understand why everyone tells me 'there is no cure'. From the research I've done, what that means is that they cant do the same thing with all people on the spectrum and get results. But there are a lot of people on the spectrum that have benefitted greatly from dietary changes, early intervention, and in some cases homeopathy (have you heard of the book called 'Impossible Cure'?)



As I said to my brother - high functioning people on the spectrum, or those with AS have a choice as to what they want to try, and whether they're happy with their life just the way it is. My little boy doesnt. If you heard the crying that goes on, you'd understant that he's not happy just the way he is, as so many people try to tell me. So I have to try everything I can to get him to his own, personal, full potential. Whatever that is, I love him fully as he is.

Hello



I have Asperger's Syndrome. Clearly I've had it my entire life, but I only recently got diagnosed - until then, I just thought I was a bit different from other people, had trouble fitting in struggled with some things that other people found to be very easy. I also knew I had moments of insight and perspective that other people couldn't hope to compare to.



I've never heard of anything remotely approximating a cure, alhtough I've heard of various ways of dealing with various personality problems that may arise from having the condition. And... to be honest... I can't imagine a cure even existing. If I was suddenly "cured" of my Asperger's, I'd be a different person with different thought processes and a different personality. It's something I can barely even comprehend. I wonder what it would be like to suddenly "read" peoples' body language clearly, to comprehend non-verbal cues, to just... naturally... understand things. And I just can't. It seems like if I was cured, I wouldn't be the same person.



I'm sure it must be very difficult to have a son with autism. I really don't know what challenges would result from something like that. I had a difficult upbringing because people didn't know I had any issues that needed to be addressed, but I was also more intelligent and better able to conceal those very issues because they brought attention down on me. So, it could be argued (very accurately) that my challenges weren't as extreme as someone who has a more apparent condition.



If your son has autism, I hope you can clearly see all the positives that will come with his condition.

Thanks draumr. My brother has AS, so I do understand what you are talking about with your son. I'm so glad to hear he's come so far.

My 18 year old has aspergers, my wife left work for most of his up bringing. It was a lot of trial and error and finding the right therpist. He is now going to college, the very first patient of his therpist to make it that far.



It is a very tiring and thankless job, but when is parenting anything else?



Good luck and I hope you find a good team to support you and your child.

Thanks kayaker - I will definitely do that. I'd love to have someone to talk it over with. I'll write soon.

Write to me, I'd like to discuss this with you.