I Remember The Feel Of Her Touch

I have not been intimate with anyone in a long time. Which is ironic since I've been married for over 20 years.  I met someone online.  Texting led to phone calls that led to meeting in person.  We only were together 3 times but I developed strong feelings for her and thought I would be with the OW.  Karma kicks in and the OW broke it off with me.  I am separated waiting on the divorce to be final. 

I can accept that but the down side is the ability to talk to someone, to chat back and forth, to talk on the phone, to wake up with the person I love wrapped in my arms.  I revived a part of me that has been buried for a long time.  I need to nurture this and I am so afraid of not connecting like this again.  Spoken like a true 50 year old adolescent I know but I miss the intimacy of a relationship.
BeachGuy757 BeachGuy757
46-50, M
3 Responses Dec 14, 2012

BeachGuy757 - Your story touched me. I too, fell for someone while I was married and thought he was "the one." Although he wasn't the reason why I left my 27 year marriage, he did awaken those emotions in me that were long gone (or so I thought). My divorce will be finalized in the next few weeks and I should be happy now but I am devastated . My new "Mr. Right" turned out to be a serial cheater with women he finds on dating and sex sites. I asked him to leave a week ago but already miss falling asleep in his arms, the way he would tease me and the sweet things he would do for me. I am trying to find the lessons in this experience but already know that no matter how old we are, we all need an honest and open connection with someone. I am also afraid that I will never find it again since I was incredibly lonely in my marriage for a long, long time. Hang in there; surely we will both find it again. At least that is my hope.

I wish you well! It is magical to hold a person you love and fall asleep!

Robert, Thanks for the advice! I didn't realize what was missing (intimacy) until it came back into my life, even if for such a short period of time. I do not want to go through the rest of my life numb and lonely. I want to love and be loved in a committed relationship with a soulmate. I have looked at the various websites and am not sure if they are for me but maybe it is time to try. Again, thank you!!

Wow, do I understand where you are coming from. I had a wonderful affair partner who loved intimacy, touching, cuddling, great sex and brought joy to me just being with her. I have been married nearly 40 years to a nice woman who just doesn't "do" those things. Ugh. I'm outta here in 2013, but I lost my long-term affair partner this fall when she gave up on me ever leaving to be with her and cut me off, blocked my calls, unfriended me, etc. I can't tell you how many times I have wanted to hear her voice, to feel her touch, etc. So, here's the deal: think about what the OW meant to you and what needs she met. Then, when you are feeling "free" to pursue a new relationship, look for someone who will give you that (as well as you meeting her needs). In terms of meeting someone, try Match.com or SeniorFriendFinder.com. There are also online dating services for people of religious faith or even particular interests. Maybe "It's Just Lunch" if you have a local chapter. Don't wait until you are 61 (like me)... I could have left 10 years ago in my early 50's and had 10 years of joy and bliss -- OK no relationship will be perfect - but my affair partner wanted to marry, loved me, and met so many of my deep needs. Now, she's gone.... Don't make the same mistake.