I still remember the closeness, the feeling of being connected. I remember the intertwining of our fingers as we just layed there, not a care in the world. I told you my secrets and you shared yours. I felt no shame, no rejection. I remember feeling like both the strongest and the weakest person I could be at that time you held me. I remember the heat between us and the excitement that came. I remember feeling the peace that went through me at being held in your arms. I had the strength to push boundaries and never felt more daring in my life. I remember how time flew by without my noticing. I also remember when I finally became conscious of the space that grew between us. I remember the awful silence that made me want to yell. How we stopped talking about important things in our lives. I remember the sting of rejection on so many levels. I remember feeling like a failure and at a loss on how to fix it. Feeling like a shadow of our former glory, all I know how to do is remember.
RiddledHeart RiddledHeart
26-30, F
3 Responses Jan 6, 2013

My cousin and I... :( My heart goes out to you!!

It's a miserable place to be when the past looks better than the present, or future...........
How did i end up here ? often comes to does, what did i do to deserve this ?

So sad. Just remember only you can change it. Good luck!

Thank you for your encouragement. I just hope it isn't too late.

Its never too late. There has been a ridiculous number of health problems in my family over the Xmas holidays and that has given me the motivation to make some fairly big changes in my life. Life is just too short :-) If someone as stuck in my ways as I am can do it, it will be a breeze for you!