I Want Affection, Closeness, Intimacy
Perhaps there are lucky ones who have it all... I am one of those who don't.
It’s not a choice but maybe it’s fate (?).
My husband never believes that I don’t love him anymore but I can never persuade him. I never had any real men in my life so he’s too confident that I am just around and still very loyal.
Talking about loyalty. Guilty, I am not . I have a dash of impulsiveness in my nerve so I did certain things which somehow spells disloyalty. I like testing the waters but I do have limitation. I must say that I am quite playful and a bit adventurous.
Experiences taught me how to dance with life and forget the word being loved. I once allowed it in my heart but I was left with nothing but myself. I was selfless and insistent but I learned that no one can ever demand someone to love you. When I regained consciousness, I become selfish in a way that I learned to love myself and prioritize my need. I become a new person who prefers to laugh more and never cry at all. I enjoy more of life now than I used to be. I’d been more accepting of the blows and how to get away from troubles.
There are moments when I badly need someone but I become used to getting on with myself alone. I am very resourceful.
Of course, I would surely like a boyfriend who’s not demanding but would always be there when I need or want him. Is it too selfish?
Yet, how would I ever have a real boyfriend when I spend 12 hours or beyond at work? It’s a dream job for me. Nothing is more fulfilling than helping people find jobs and be accepted. Yet the hours to make everything possible eat all of my time. I cannot say to my boss, I" don’t want overtime anymore!". My work will be pended and I don’t want unfinished business. It’s still me who will work on it the next day. Spending 12 hours at work then traveling 2 hours back and forth consume half of my day. I sleep only 5 hours and watch TV for an hour or two while having my meal. Hence, I spend 21 hours per day which doesn’t include showers or baths. So where should I put the time slot for a boyfriend?
Weekend? I have to do groceries, housecleaning then spend my waking hours with kids who demand to exercise and dance with them, eat meal with them, go to the mall with them to buy their stuff. Cook their favorite soup, teach their lessons, do school project and assignments with them.
Yeah, so online boyfriend might do the trick but I am not always online. Who would prefer to have a “catch me if you can” relationship with me?
It’s not a choice but maybe it’s fate (?).
My husband never believes that I don’t love him anymore but I can never persuade him. I never had any real men in my life so he’s too confident that I am just around and still very loyal.
Talking about loyalty. Guilty, I am not . I have a dash of impulsiveness in my nerve so I did certain things which somehow spells disloyalty. I like testing the waters but I do have limitation. I must say that I am quite playful and a bit adventurous.
Experiences taught me how to dance with life and forget the word being loved. I once allowed it in my heart but I was left with nothing but myself. I was selfless and insistent but I learned that no one can ever demand someone to love you. When I regained consciousness, I become selfish in a way that I learned to love myself and prioritize my need. I become a new person who prefers to laugh more and never cry at all. I enjoy more of life now than I used to be. I’d been more accepting of the blows and how to get away from troubles.
There are moments when I badly need someone but I become used to getting on with myself alone. I am very resourceful.
Of course, I would surely like a boyfriend who’s not demanding but would always be there when I need or want him. Is it too selfish?
Yet, how would I ever have a real boyfriend when I spend 12 hours or beyond at work? It’s a dream job for me. Nothing is more fulfilling than helping people find jobs and be accepted. Yet the hours to make everything possible eat all of my time. I cannot say to my boss, I" don’t want overtime anymore!". My work will be pended and I don’t want unfinished business. It’s still me who will work on it the next day. Spending 12 hours at work then traveling 2 hours back and forth consume half of my day. I sleep only 5 hours and watch TV for an hour or two while having my meal. Hence, I spend 21 hours per day which doesn’t include showers or baths. So where should I put the time slot for a boyfriend?
Weekend? I have to do groceries, housecleaning then spend my waking hours with kids who demand to exercise and dance with them, eat meal with them, go to the mall with them to buy their stuff. Cook their favorite soup, teach their lessons, do school project and assignments with them.
Yeah, so online boyfriend might do the trick but I am not always online. Who would prefer to have a “catch me if you can” relationship with me?
By:
0n1WOW
Age:
36-40
,
Female
