Oh how I miss my dear Mama, who endured so much in her last days. The anniversary of her death came on January 13, and I repressed it and tried not to let it hurt me, and I pretty much succeeded (THAT day at least). Ever since then, I've had periods of agonizing despair over her being gone and me not being able to see her even for a moment except in pictures or in my memory. If I let myself feel this pain, I believe I would not be able to function. But I must go on in this life and hold on to her memory the best I can and try to remember the good things. Unfortunately, in the end, it was more like a horror story than a fairytale and it's hard not to be affected by that.
I love you and miss you so much Mama.