One Thought On True Love
I recently read a well written oppinion on the concept of true love that I complelty disagree with. It's by CosiCeleste from the "I AM Deeply In Love" group, here's the link http://www.experienceproject.com/stories/... .
It's an exceptionally well written story and I'm not picking a fight at all I just think it's the complete opposite of the way true love is found/established. I'm in the planning phase of a documentary film on true love so I've been pondering my own opinion on the subject (which will be the basis of the film).
CosiCeleste contends that in order to find true love you must first love yourself. I think if CosiCeleste is right true love would be impossible. Too many of us are just to flawed and we know it.
It's just the opposite.
I really believe true love is born of a feeling of complete inadequacy. For me if you are "possibly" my true love, I'm going to feel so "inadequate" around you. "How could you possibly be interested in me?" - "I don't measure up", "You're flawless (even though no one is), "I'm not worthy of your attention, yet you appear to be crazy about ME?"
I see inadequacy in couples all the time - but it's almost always the woman who feels it and guys tend to be very dominant in the relationship. I'm reminded of the song Under My Thumb by the Rolling Stones. It's typically one-sided.
For me then I think when it's real love, true love, those feelings of inadequacy HAVE TO BE MUTUAL and so over-powering for both (not just for the woman) and it creates this dynamic where in both are so in love and yet there is this constant tension each feels (I believe it's fear actually) and it drives both to be better people. So both then work hard, they over-compensate, they both become incredibly selfless, out of total love but also it's a little out of inadequacy. And it doesn't end, because the better I become chasing how great you are the harder you work to keep up, and we make each other, together so much better then we could have ever been separately.