I Must Sound Like A Parent In A Charlie Brown Special

"Honest to Christ, I am so tired of saying things only to have them utterly disregarded." I looked at my husband of nearly three decades in frustration.  And then I realized it was yet another reason I'm seriously considering ending the marriage.  When one loves a person, one listens to that person and attends to what they say, endeavours to please them based on their words.

I'm talking about the little things, the requests one makes of another, as well as the bigger stuff.  It's all part of listening and caring. 

I'm a clear communicator.  I make my preferences and wishes known.  And while I do not always expect to get my way, if my husband acknowledges what I've said and indicates he is willing to do whatever it is I'm asking for, I bloody well expect him to do it.

I do not appreciate lip service.  Not of that sort, anyway.

I looked at him.  "I feel like when I open my mouth, you hear the squawk squawk squawk of the parents on Peanuts shows."  He looked at me passively, not agreeing or disagreeing, and I realized by not disagreeing he was being truthful.  He'd zoned out, and he realized it, but he didn't want to admit it.  Still, he has vowed to be honest with me, after so many lies.  So he could not disagree.  Poor bastard.  He will be happier without me.  I'm sure of it.

Our marriage is over.  But we are remaining together for this final year of our son living at home before he heads out to university.  I can do this.  If Nelson Mandela can be imprisoned for over 20 years, surely I can stomach one more. 

Okay, maybe that's a little dramatic.  But here's the thing...being in a relationship where I feel like my words are wasted is a tad tortuous.  You know how important communication is to me. 
milkynips milkynips
46-50, F
5 Responses Dec 3, 2012

If I had to put my finger on just one thing that has led to the demise of my marriage, it would be the inability of my wife to communicate. Worse, she often refuses to even attempt to, and just walks away. When couples don't talk anymore it leads to isolation, stagnation and deterioration. Sign the papers.

I can understand how you feel.

My frustration level gets there at times too but I haven't hit that tipping point yet to walk away. Then again you know some of my situation M and because of the kind of guy I am, know why I just don't walk away.

I would not wish your situation on my worst enemy, fella. You are a very good egg.

It's so sad... I talk to a lot of people around here (and other similar places), and so many of them have severe marital troubles. It almost always is the result of mismatched goals or poor communication. People evolve, and then don't know how fit anymore. In a case like yours... you sound so sure that you're done, yet you're willing to wait for a year for resolution. I imagine your children know there's stress... do you think that staying together and miserable is what they want for you? I don't have an angle here... just pontificating..

My son asked me to remain with his father when I was planning to leave this summer after my husband got drunk on my birthday. Yes, it is is what he wants. And my daughter hopes that my husband and I will stay together as well. But I've promised nothing beyond this year. I am trying to keep the arguments to a minimum, honestly.

Then you are to be commended... I tip my cap to you. And moon you too, just because... :D

Thank you, dear sir. Much appreciated. A little mooning is a very good thing. And you know how I love men's butts.

Hahaaa.... I wasn't really thinking about that at that time but... even more reason to give you a peek, no?

1 More Response

So sad, my wife just told me not to o something, i asked why and now clearly understand and will not do it again.... Thoughts of your healing....