I Want Children

"Little Cow"

By: Inman

Written on December 29th, 2007

I sit here staring at this adorable 2 year old sitting in her father's lap. Her light black hair pulled into a sad pony-tail on the top of her head exposing radiant blue eyes that reach into you and stir up a smile. Her blue jacket complete with pink mittens dangling from the sleeves also has a cow-hood with ears and tiny pink horns. For the last two minutes, she's motionless as dad feeds her bites of apple. "little cow" doesn't even lean forward to bite the apple from her father's hand, but instead trusts him to deliver the bite. Who wouldn't want a "little cow"?

I did. Desperately. I wanted her to have big brown eyes like my wife and brown naturally wavy hair like mine. I wanted her to smile like me, laugh like her, and chuckle at us both.

And, I'm sad as I watch "little cow" walk away from her father towards the middle of this coffee shop.

I have no "little cow". and I have no marriage anymore.

And, that hurts.

By: Inman

Age: 31-35 , Male

1,766 people have read this story

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8 responses

wantabearcub

You'll have a "little cow" someday... Just as I'll have a baby "Bug" someday... I know how you feel, It gets easier, but doesn't stay easier! It will be hard again and you'll be okay with it. Eventually we'll have our perfect little ones and someday where somebody will be watching from across the store as you sweetly play with your little one yearning for what you have.

May 29, 2012
1 like
GoldieMtZion

I think "little cow" would be a sweet pet name for a child...you're a wonderful man and you'd be a great daddy...I wish you luck with it :)

Feb 17, 2008
1 like
fungirlmmm

Huck, I am so sorry and although I can't fully understand it from a male perspective I do understand. I have wanted a child since I was 23 years old. I will be thinking of you and praying for you. Wow young man your stories stir up emotions that I try to fight. TY for sharing.

Feb 17, 2008
2 likes
grendelan

It hurts to have something so unbearably cute, and something so unbearably sad, juxtaposed. Don't give up your dream.

Jan 21, 2008
2 likes
Inman

As a friend of mine said, If she really wanted a child, she would've done something about it in the last ten years.

Jan 1, 2008
2 likes
Inman

I wonder if the next woman I fall in love with will mind if I call her "little cow"?

probably not a good idea.

Dec 29, 2007
3 likes
Inman

Someday I will have a "little cow".

Maybe just me and a "little cow", but I will.

Dec 29, 2007
2 likes
scarlet54

you write well. sorry that you are having a hard time...better to have no children than children with the wrong person--- I know.

Dec 29, 2007
1 like

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