Well, it's been a long time, far too long since I felt true, genuine happiness. What it is like to feel happy? I have no recollection. Yes, my troubles are always there, looming permanently.Sometimes, I take the bull by the horns and challenge it and that's the time when I feel very stressed out, sad, yucky and very very exhausted. Then, there are times when I just sweep them under the carpet because I am too tired to move on. I know when I need some rest away from all this junk in my life. I need some " happiness". And so, I will go watch a movie, eat some good food but it never worked. Yeah, it did give me pleasure. It did give me instant bliss. But no, it didn't give me happiness because I will always be certain that my torubles will never recede. After one is gone, here comes another and the cycle goes on and on. Do I live just so I can solve the troubles that I create myself? When can I truly live? When can I feel extreme happiness that stays there for years, or perhaps milleniums to come?