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Mature, Heavenly Men Are Flexible And Honest

My children's father lives two streets away from my new home.

My husband, the man I've loved more than anyone in the world, lives four hours away in another state.

After going through hell to be together, our marriage began to crumble when I moved into his world. What I believed would be OUR life was His life with His kids in Their house with No rules and His ex calling the shots and His mother destroying yet another relationship. After sacrificing Everything for a gentleman who morphed into a greedy, paranoid, dishonest fake addicted to unmentionable xxx film, I finally escaped the asylum. It's been torturous to accept our fate after being so happy together. But the truth is I ignored many signs of his mental illness and the gentleman was the fake, short-lived persona I'd loved.

So much betrayal and cruelty should make me despise him, but I feel sorry for him and future victims of his psychopathy.

Never again will I give up my world for anyone. I fantasize about my husband getting well and living in my world, but that is never going to happen. He is sick, even dangerous according to experts.

The love of my life is still out there, living in my world of truth, trust, compassion, creativity, courage and mad passion! I am SPOON looking forward to meeting him and when he enters my heart and home, he'll never want to leave unless we leave TOGETHER into our new home.
girlcapitol girlcapitol 51-55, F 7 Responses Feb 26, 2011

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You made my night, Oscar. Have not had a good day. I think I see a glimmer of light ahead...<br />
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Thank you for your comment, really needed to hear that.<br />
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Take care and have a good night, friend.<br />
xxoo

What a mess life is, when we peel away the la<x>yer that we use to hide the truth from random strangers who would run away screaming, if they only knew the truth. You have offered a glimpse of what it means to be alive in this world and to trust others who turn out not to be deserving of our trust, or those fully deserving but we realize it only too late.<br />
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You are no different from the rest of us, maybe a little more honest. My life is equal parts mess, but in different ways. Hang in there.

You are sweet ..I thank you for your comment.......:)

Oh, Jesus!!!!! Good Lordy, you have lifted me like I haven't been lifted in six months!!!! It must be Sunday... yes certainly 'tis.<br />
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Seriously, you have no idea how the comments have healed me today. I am still struggling so completely with the changes that have ravaged my "miraculous new existence".<br />
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From ashes I am trying very hard to rise up - and to right myself to a better position than ever. Having your heart broken wide open and watching your very guts and soul bleed out and run into the storm gutters leaves you nowhere to go but...<br />
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and while slumped over the curb all you can do is say a kind word to anything lower passing...<br />
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such is how we internalize the kind of compassion that lets you hold lepers<br />
and AIDS-infected babies; kissing away their tears and holding them more tightly as their drool dries on your shoulder.

beautiful write...enjoyed reading...superb language and flow of words are awesome..u left me speechless...these comments are not enough to compliment u i think.... ...:)

What doesn't kill us makes us stronger, and just overflowing with wisdom and love for the RIGHT people ~ n'est-ce pas, Froggi?

What a SEET thing to say, thank you. I wondered if I should change, but I guess my choices are what need changing.