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Sometimes I Hate Whats Goin On There...

 When I see the differences in my world and his...  they are pretty huge. Sometimes I love his nice customs, but some of them I hate, and he too..  i wish he was here.. i wish he could see and experience this peaceful environment my family creates...  never rows,  gossips, nothing like that..  my life is pretty boring actually, but no stress of this kind...   I'm not saying all is ideal here, but I dont have to face bad talks almost every day, I dont have to listen to murmurs and see frowning on everyone's face. I dont see tears of my mom, i dont see...  I don't see that pain. 

But it hurts me so much when i see my love suffering... and facing all this. I hate  when he is in pain... i hate it so much...   

I want him here...  i want him  with me, in this boredom.. we would be smiling together. 

He called me on cell while ago,  only to tell me not to worry of him. But how can I do that? How can I not worry about him when I love him so much. And...  and  just sit here on this damn chair and doing nothing...  I'm not able to console him. 

Sometimes I wish he could escape from there...   

I want those bad moments to disappear from his life. It's a bit too cruel. He doesn't deserve this. He is one of the best persons I've ever seen. Caring...  sensitive. Sensible and smart boy...

....and...  how can I not worry...   he is not ok.. I see he is not, even when he tries to pretend or he doesnt tell me. I see he is NOT OK!  How can I not to worry...??? His eyes are paining, his head is hurting, his tummy is painful and his mouth double the size it should be...   if  also pain in leg appears...  idk..  I just want to cry...  I just want to hold you in my arms...

"And hold you in my arms
I just wanted to hold
You in my arms

My life
You electrify my life
Lets conspire to re-ignite
All the souls that would die just to feel alive

But I'll never let you go
If you promise not to fade away
Never fade away

Our hopes and expectations
Black holes and revelations
Our hopes and expectations
Black holes and revelations

Hold you in my arms
I just wanted to hold

You in my arms "

I'm sorry, I told you I will not worry...  but I can't. You are my life and I will always be worried of you....  

Someday you will be in my world... 

 

bublina bublina 18-21, F 4 Responses Feb 16, 2009

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((((hugs))))

okay...

:( and I hate I can do nothing with it...

:/ I know this feeling too.