Lost

I am in a unique position right now that most musicians would die to get into. Of all of the oportunities that have been offered to me over the years, this is the first one that I have honestly felt good about. I'm not going to go into what has come up, but it is pretty big, or could be anyway.
Over the past several months, I have been concentrating mostly on my writing, and less on the artist portion of my dream. I am a fair singer, but my writing has developed into something pretty special, and in a small way, starting to take off. I have started writing with one guy, and have a collaboration with another person who has agreed to sing one of my songs...all pretty exciting! I have also received word that there are a couple of other people who would like to start working with me in the writing arena, so that makes me feel even more compelled to turn in that direction.
Another thing that is making me feel a bit lost, is during our show Saturday, was the fact that I blew my voice during the first set making me think about if that is something that I really need to continue...I did manage to croak out the rest of the five hour show, but it was painful, and even today...my voice is still pretty hoarse. Don't get me wrong here...I don't want to give up the stage, I love the stage!!! I'm just not sure that it should be the priority for my talents that I have.
I guess I just need to take the ride, and see what happens. If something happens with the band...I'll follow it, and if something happens with my writing...I'll follow that too. I can't let the guys in the band down...espescially the bass player and keyboard player...they are like my brothers and we have been through a lot together in the music world, and I would do anything for them if they needed it, and I could help provide it. Anyway, I just want to be sure that the path I follow is the right one, and frankly, I'm feeling as if the path has disappeared before my eyes and I have to walk the ground blindly and hoping like hell that I'm not about to fall off a cliff. The damndest thing of it all is I have worked most of my life for all of this. It has been a roller coaster of pain and joy, and going from pure elation to total devastation, but I've never quit...hell I can't quit...life won't let me...believe me, I've tried!
teleman teleman
36-40, M
3 Responses Feb 16, 2010

Thanks dainbramaged and fx000. Nighthowl is completely right. You spend your entire life searching for that ultimate tone and sound...and when you find the little illusive bastard....there is nothing like it

Wow! @Nitehowl ,You nailed THAT! Imo.<br />
You struck a beautiful chord on the computer Keyboard dude! I would like to hear the music you have written for it! ;)<br />
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Keep on jammin @teleman! It's as the "revrend Knigt Howl" <br />
Has written. TY again @Nitehowl.<br />
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@teleman ,.Once you have a taste of it you will always be looking for those tasty licks!<br />
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Its a killer for me tooo,.I feel the pain. <br />
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Pi eace n magic <br />
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FX000

Nothing like the addiction of sound. Yes, It hurts so good when you are doing it and when you are finished for the night. But for some reason we keep coming back for more. It is the closest thing to bliss on record other than sex. Being a pla<x>yer is a feeling that will inject the Blues right into you before you know you even have an affliction.<br />
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Because of the feeling that is given to us for our pain before gain we keep going and going for it as it is in our blood. If you have ever heard PURE sound and when it stops someone has to remind you to breath, you are a goner from now on. You can never stop now no matter if your life hung in the balance you'll do it one more time. Just to see if you can find that sound that took you so completely without remorse. <br />
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There are many hungry days and even more hungry nights searching for the sound that got away. You will go play again to see if that sound of the perfect tone has graced your fingers tonight. You know it is when you play with your heart out on your guitar strings the hopes of THE sound will appear and give you relief tonight just one more time. Tomorrow you will chase it down the road in hopes of that feeling just a little bit will emerge and at least give you a taste. A pla<x>yer will bleed their heart dry trying to find it one more time.<br />
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If you have ever heard it,The ultimate Tone of sound, there is nothing like it.