Tired of Not Feeling Pretty Enough

I am tired of not feeling pretty. I have fought with eating disorders since I was 15, although the seeds of self-destruction were sown much earlier. I come from a long line of plus-sized women. I told myself I would never be like that, and proceeded to starve myself into skinnyness. I spent most of high school as a size 4- still feeling fat. In college I got down to a 2- and nearly destroyed my relationship with my now-husband. Since I've been married, I've gained about 20 lbs. I'm now a size 8 and the stupid thing is- I still feel fat. I know I'm healthy. I know my husband think's I'm pretty. But I don't see myself that way. I would love to be able to accept my body, my face, my hair... I would love to be able to inspire the generations of women after me to be comfortable with who they are... But I have to start with myself first.

justeloped justeloped
1 Response Jun 13, 2008

Self-awareness is the first step, and it sounds like you're there. But self-awareness without change is foolishness.<br />
I've battled with bulimia for years, and I know the feeling of never being perfect enough, always having a fat area...<br />
It's weird how loving yourself is so easy for some, and so hard for others...